Take my Breath Away

There is a song from the eighties that is called "Take my Breath Away" sung by Berlin. I have encountered this and find myself amazed and caught in some sort of time capsule. There seems to be moments in my day where I am an onlooker gazing into my world and seeing all as if for the first time.

My girls, my precious angels who care so deeply and honestly for their Dad. Bless them as they too have been drawn into a divorce that was not their doing, the innocent suffer and they too must deal with the consequences and harsh realities. And they have, I am so proud of them and their honesty and manner in which they have walked beside me.

It has been 2 years and much has changed, I am a little more grey, a little more realistic about life and love and definitely less critical and judgemental than I used to be.

I have a home, a den to rest, recharge, think and entertain.
It is warm and smells of hope and dreams.
It reminds a little of the past and offers a glimpse of the future.
It is slightly disorganised because it is lived in and comes alive when people are in it like a puppy greeting its family when they return home.

And then, in the far side of my image is a new light, a new energy, an aura of warmth, joy and companionship with the promise of so much more. This is the hope that has crossed my path and added a silly smile to my face and the occasional blush to my personality.

"Take my Breath Away"

Nite All

Touched by an Angel

It is a feeling of complete and utter happiness, its like an angel has come into your life and touched it in an amazing way.

There is a sparkle that wasn't there before, a shimmer of joy and astonishment and you feel like just sitting down right where you are and just absorbing it all.

Its the same feeling a teenager has when he sees the Victoria's Secret Catalogue for the first time or a three year old experiences on Christmas Morning when they see all the presents under the Christmas Tree.

The sheer bliss of digging a spoon into a freshly baked chocolate pudding and the chocolate sauce oozes out and mixes with the melting vanilla icecream. Special moments like this.

This has all come about because of a very special lady who has added something I was sorely missing in my life, a state of organisation and neatness. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a "undress at the front door and leave a trail of clothes" type of messiness, more a gathering of dust and accumulation of un-ironed clothing.

I have everything ironed and packed and organised and a dustless environment and. An aroma of furniture polish tickles your nostrils as you enter. My flat gets a weekly makeover, an excursion to a Spa, the gayboys have nothing on her!

Yes, so my love is superficial and selfish and a totally "me thing" but man o man it is awesome to behold. Like seeing me with a sixpack, a sight for sore eyes and potential beauty.

And so I must explore what else has been touched by an angel!

Nite all

Home Away

I forget the exact period of time that we stayed in our home, but it must have in the region of 9 years. Our girls grew from toddlers and started school from there and I have the photos of them in their uniforms standing on the back patio with the typical Grade 1 smile complete with the missing front tooth.

I loved the large covered patio, the braai and entertainment area and our study, where I hid for the last few months before I left because of an agreement I now deeply regret. Love has a way of working against you and distorting logic and common sense.

Our wonderful neighbours Y and L and the great conversations at the wall, watching their boys growing up next door.

Our numerous dogs and the birds and fish and guinea pigs, the amount of people that passed through our doors and the friendships formed. Sadness and hurt also came through but that is another story.

Then we separated pending our divorce and it became a place that broke my heart every time I returned my girls to their Mom after having them for my weekend. What hurt even more was seeing the boyfriends car parked where my car used to be.

Then there was the period they moved out and it was broken into twice and vandalised. I had to get someone to stay in the house and get it on the market as quickly as possible, the sale is now underway and the bond has been approved to the buyer.

It has many wonderful memories, good friends, good meals, laughter and some amazing family time. Of course there were times of great difficulty and sadness including the evening I told my girls that Mom and I were getting divorced and then proceeding to try and and convince them that it was not their fault. I cannot forget their faces as they sobbed as the news sank in. It is the worst I have felt in my life and at that precise moment I felt like the meanest and saddest man in the world. Our dream had not only shattered, but it had splintered and hurt all of us.

So soon I hope to hand over the keys and close another chapter in my life.

Good Night all