Rent a Midget

I am cold, freezing and in need of a hot water bottle or a midget to use to warm me. The Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland had the right idea of using a warm pigs belly to rest her feet on, bravo evil Queen bravo.

It was -6'C last night and we had no water or electrical appliances due to our power board lighting up like a terrorist touring an explosive factory and then it died, tragically. Dark descended and with it came its extremely unpopular sidekick, Cold.

I was in bed by 7 and asleep by 8 complete with my thermal socks and only my eyes peeping out from beneath the blankets, I awoke at 02h00 and was cold. This is the first time since I have been in Lesotho that I have been cold at night, hence my request for a midget  that I can move around to warm the cold bits of my body. 

If any of you have a spare midget lying around, I would be most grateful if I loan the little bugger.

If I have offended any of you with my simple request for warmth and comfort, I apologise most profusely and will allow you visitation rights to midgetville, however I must urge you not to spoil them as midget tossing and Leon Schuster movies depend on them for their livelyhood.

On that emotional note, I have the following to say

Nite All

Passionate Princess

When I hear her voice I am instantly aware that passion of a woman compared to passion of a man are separated by voids not visible to the naked eye.

We all carry some underlying tone in our voices whether we are aware of it or not. Some carry a pretext of nagging, others mischievousness, cheekiness and even arrogance.

The lady in question who for purposes of this tale shall be addressed as "D" has the ability to fill a room like the faintest hint of an expensive perfume that tickles your nose as it brushes by you seductively. She giggles, flirts with her eyes as she gently bites her bottom lip and when your guard is down, has the ability to ask a question that leaves you squirming in your seat.

Picture yourself on a rooftop with a dark-haired beauty sensual in every manner sipping a delicious full-bodied glass of red wine and discussing life, love and sex. Imagine laughing and sharing as you try not to visualise the pictures you so desperately wish to for fear of falling off the roof. D is passionate about love, her children, her man and her career. When she entered politics she did so with the same energy she does life and this includes dedication, compassion and a temper so fierce I am amazed she has not entered parliament with a baseball bat. 

She is as comfortable addressing a board of directors as she is serving soup at a homeless shelter with an orphan in her arms. She gives and gives and eventually crashes and burns in a heap of exhausted emotions convinced she made no difference and in these moments of human frailty, she is even more beautiful than ever. It is here that she is able to let others love and care for here and nurse her back to rock and roll political goddess mode and set her loose on our society again. 

To be in the presence of a beautiful woman is indeed one of life's true blessings and when stimulated by her brain and a desire to change the world with a belief that it can be done, it inspires us to look beyond our petty emotions and focus on a larger greater need.

Nite All

Coffee & Sex

The origin of coffee dates back to the ninth century and what was discovered by an Ethiopian goat herder by the name of Kaldi.
The word "coffee" basically means "wine of the bean" and this addictive black magic brew has intoxicated and brought enjoyment to people all over the world. I am tempted to say that it is enjoyed more than sex and if you question this, then definitely more often than the pleasurable procreation participated in by millions.

The coffee bean was nibbled, crushed, burnt and finally boiled before it was lured into releasing its essence. It was used for medicinal purposes, aphrodisiac and taken during times of prayer before it eventually led to the first coffee shop being opened in Istanbul in the middle 1500's.
The first organised brothel however dates back to 5 BC and the Greeks are attributed with this honour.
Since then coffee shops and brothels have spread to all corners of the earth.
I must interrupt and raise a question if I may, what did people drink before Kaldi and his wandering herd of goats discovered the cocoon of caffeine. I can see the tea-drinkers bouncing up and down and clapping their hands with glee and Aunty Mildred stumbling into the room with a glass of Merlot and half its contents dribbling down her chin,
Yes Yes tea and wine have been around longer, but neither are as seductive or erotic as a roll under a duvet or a cuppachino. Sharing coffee with a friend is one of the 1.5 billion cups consumed a day, that is three times more than people making love to each other.

Just think of the different types of coffee, cuppachino, expresso, latte, mocha java, and you seem to have words so seductive that they will bring a blush to many a fair maiden.

So on that sexy note, Nite All