Sunday in the Saddle

My Sunday began with a decision to head out early and tackle the road to Maseru, I left Masite Nek and as I left the cocoon of safety and  fortitude of a pain free bottom I realised that this was my first cycle on my own.

Co-rider one was asleep, grumpy and not a morning person and co-rider two decided that visiting his wife in South Africa was more important than dodging taxis on a Sunday morning. This would be my fourth ride of the week and I a step closer to emulating Lance Armstrong, I had a yellow t-shirt on, baggies, drugs in the form of blood pressure meds and happy pills and a hint of Jack Daniels in my system from the night before.

It is important that you understand that I am not some fitness freak who can hop out of bed, run 16km, cycle 24km and then pop a Berocca C and bounce through the day with a smile on my face. I could theoretically pass out if I jumped out of bed, rushing to breakfast leaves me a little flustered and jogging doesn't agree with my rugby destroyed knees or reconstructed right ankle.

I swung onto the main road, and within no time at all was being greeted my shepherds as they tended sheep, goats and cattle, in Lesotho children that are unable to attend school have the option of becoming shepherds, so its not unusual to see a 9 year old in the field tending his flock.
My admin hardened hands were taken a severe beating from the rubber grips of the handlebar, it was as if I had been entrusted with the task of removing all the skin off my palms while my backside bounced on the rocklike seat like Bo Derek bouncing assets in the running scene from the movie "10".

The Lesotho taxi-drivers are more mellowed than their South African counterparts and will hoot and give you additional space if required, this country grows on you more and more each passing month.
I am now finding that with no previous experience and not having the luxury of an experienced rider with me, it is simply a case of get on, get on with it and get back alive. There is no plan of action, its survive till it hurts, dont cry in front of the cheering locals and don't swear out loud, the swearing is pretty safe as I am unable to do much when gasping for air and my throat as dry as forgotten piece of wors on a braai.

This would be my first ride where I didn't dismount and have to walk, even if it killed me. I was crawling home, with wobbly legs, collapsed lungs, bleeding hands and a huge blister of pain where my bottom was meant to be. I turned the corner and the final 200m lay before me and then it was over.

6km or 6000m lay behind me. I was a superstar!

I Love Women

Why do I love women?

I have 2 amazing daughters who are my pride and joy, they radiate youth, love and a passion for life and our new family unity. They hug me and embrace me in their lives with all the pleasures and pressures that teenage girls are exposed to and have to deal with. Their emotions needs to be expressed and vented and as a Dad I certainly dont have the answers, one thing I have learnt from my marriage is that most times, women just want someone to listen to them, embrace then and reassure them. Its tough and tempting not to reach for the baseball bat and administer some well needed common sense to those who hurt my angels, the strength needs to be in the arms of a Dad who embraces and not one who modifies faces.

I have a Mom who have been caring for my terminally ill Dad with advanced Parkinsons for years. She doesn't complain, resists any form of assistance and on a daily basis illustrates that love can conquer all, she gives and receives so little in return, she cares and prays and continues day in and day out, laughs when I speak to her makes me the proudest son there will ever be. How she does it I have no idea?

I have female friends, some married and some not. They have stood by me and advise, correct and even scold me when required, they have also praised me when I least expected it and pointed out where I have changed from the man whose marriage ended rather suddenly 5 years ago. They are family to me and I know I tire them and frustrate them, yet they stay. They are beautiful and strong passionate women who reflect beauty, strength, wisdom sometimes a stubborness I adore.

I have dated women since my divorce, wearily at first and then came to realise that most women are passionate creatures who should not be understood, but loved and spoilt. They are independent and sensual and need to converse with a man who is prepared to listen, you may glance at their sexy lumps, but sometimes a blush is required to acknowledge that you are a little shy and have a slightly higher emotional caliber than a cave man. To kiss a woman is one of life's true pleasures and seeing that slight glimmer of a smile as our lips part is a Kodak moment that is embedded in ones brain forever. I never grow tired of it.
I have contemplated long and hard on what the perfect gift is, flowers, perfume, bath salts, treats or jewellery. All have their place and time depending on the lady and as such each sends a certain message and requires a response. Lingerie delivered in a pizza box, a home cooked meal served with a glorious wine or a picnic followed with a walk holding hands all mean something different.

What do I "want" from a woman? The answer is nothing. I wish to share in their lives, their passions and roam into those areas of their minds with the assurance that I seek only to explore and delight in with their permission. I love their softness and passion as much as I admire their strength and ruthlessness.

To those that have graciously allowed me to get to know you better, thank you. You have touched me and reminded me what an honour it is to be a man, I am certainly no gentleman but have tried to be as much as I am able to.

Thank you and Nite all

Rock & Roll Grub

It s fun, its sensual and its as sinful as wearing a loincloth made of bacon to a temple ceremony and you weren't even on the guest list.
Its like meeting your new dates parents and hitting on her Mom, its the orgasmic response to the first bite of a meal so good you want to cry.

Rock and roll depicts a theology and lifestyle that is more than the image of wild orgies and drugs, no my friends it is so much more than that. It's just a step to the left, and a jump to the right, its rock and roll dreams come true, its a crazy little thing to call love. Dreams than can come true, a smile and slow dance so intense that if you were to kiss, a crowbar would be required to pry you apart, yes my rocking friend its all about passion and living for that moment.

Rock and roll food is the same, its the juicy cheese burger complete with a slice of tomato and lettuce on a soft seeded roll, a beef patty the thickness of your thumb and hot crispy fries. As you bite into it, hot juices run down your chin and drip onto your plate, the taste of grilled beef and melted cheese awaken a stirring in you and you close your eyes and just relish the moment. It is a meal that awakens memories and if shared with a loved one you cant help but flirt with them as you lick your fingers between bites. You stroke the juices on your plate with a chip and the crunch as you bite into it sounds like ice cracking, slightly salty, hot and tainted with pleasure. Its a ballad of love found, lost and never forgotten. Its a kiss in an alley, its sneaking under their t-shirt and their sharp intake of breath as you make contact with their skin.

The smell, the taste, the experience is what makes it the ultimate rock and roll meal. Its about falling in love all over again or getting over a crashed relationship. Accompany it with great music and you can face another day or tackle the impossible.

Nite All

Passionate Princess

When I hear her voice I am instantly aware that passion of a woman compared to passion of a man are separated by voids not visible to the naked eye.

We all carry some underlying tone in our voices whether we are aware of it or not. Some carry a pretext of nagging, others mischievousness, cheekiness and even arrogance.

The lady in question who for purposes of this tale shall be addressed as "D" has the ability to fill a room like the faintest hint of an expensive perfume that tickles your nose as it brushes by you seductively. She giggles, flirts with her eyes as she gently bites her bottom lip and when your guard is down, has the ability to ask a question that leaves you squirming in your seat.

Picture yourself on a rooftop with a dark-haired beauty sensual in every manner sipping a delicious full-bodied glass of red wine and discussing life, love and sex. Imagine laughing and sharing as you try not to visualise the pictures you so desperately wish to for fear of falling off the roof. D is passionate about love, her children, her man and her career. When she entered politics she did so with the same energy she does life and this includes dedication, compassion and a temper so fierce I am amazed she has not entered parliament with a baseball bat. 

She is as comfortable addressing a board of directors as she is serving soup at a homeless shelter with an orphan in her arms. She gives and gives and eventually crashes and burns in a heap of exhausted emotions convinced she made no difference and in these moments of human frailty, she is even more beautiful than ever. It is here that she is able to let others love and care for here and nurse her back to rock and roll political goddess mode and set her loose on our society again. 

To be in the presence of a beautiful woman is indeed one of life's true blessings and when stimulated by her brain and a desire to change the world with a belief that it can be done, it inspires us to look beyond our petty emotions and focus on a larger greater need.

Nite All

My Young Friends

After a 10hr work day including 320km of driving, to sit with dear friends and enjoy a magnificent chicken and vegetable soup with a tennis ball sized dumpling sprinkled with cinnamon sugar, well it was an amazing way to end off a really busy day.

Special young friends like Craig and Gen, Brad and her Vickiness and Eric and Adel allow me to see the passion they have for life. They laugh, live, shout and cry so much easier than I did.
Their bond with God and each other has made me so proud to call them friends and I know they have so much more to give.

Isn't it sometimes sad to get to the midlife years and somehow lose touch with the younger generation. They seem to love and live more passionately and experience so much more than many of us who have sought security and policies and bonds and strived to live the middle class dream.
I have no policies, no bond and no worldly security, I live month to month and even though I battle at times I am coping. I am happier than I have been in a long time even though there are still huge financial hurdles I must face.
The difference is that I am honest with my feelings and am no longer afraid to admit when I am sad or lonely or excited and feel loved.
My young friends live in the real world and address issues on a level that makes them more mature than many folk much older than them.

So this blog is a thank you to each of them for the incredible personalities and people they are, I am truly honoured and humbled to call you friends.

Nite All

The Girl on the Roof

"She sprouts fire in the split of the proverbial eye
She oozes appeal that'll make a grown man cry
Her shoes, her eyes her musical passion
A mother a princess and a lover for fashion
When she welcomes you in she means all she says
But break her circle of trust and you better say your prayers
She'll cut you deep she'll watch you bleed
Yet save your life if that's what you need
So check on the roof and maybe you'll discover
The mystery girl a friend and a passionate mother"

Sometimes in life by some stroke of chance, a person crosses your path and leaves an impression you cannot forget.
They burst in and pick you up and hover, they smile and get angry and calm down, they inspire and motivate and open a door.

Not having met her I am astounded at her kindness and willingness to share, so we chat and message and laugh and frown.

Good nite to the girl on the roof all alone
As she listens to music and waits for her love to come or to phone

 
She's protective of those who are close to her and is as comfortable in the boardroom as she is splashing in puddles in her heels with kids.

Does she exist, is she real? She had better or else I have been conversing with an imaginary friend.

Her voice is alive, energetic with a hint of naughtiness and yet I believe she could change to an angry protective lioness in the blink of an eye.

So to you the Girl on the Roof, thank you for bursting into my life, it has been a wonderful adventure so far.

Nite All

Rude Food

"What happened? One minute I was in cruise mode and the next my world was spinning out of control and someone had removed my mood food and replaced it all with rude food."

That was from over a month ago and since I can honestly say that as much as I do miss it, I am coping. The flu, headaches, stomach ailments and fact that sick leave does not feature in a contractors vocabulary didn't encourage the situation.

What has brought a proverbial 'smile to the dial' is that I am starting to feel much better, my memory is better than it has been before and I don't mind the scary bastard in the mirror.

I real food labels and roll my eyes in mock disgust as I endeavour to understand the necessity for acids and colourings and chemical additives. Am I in fact a hi-tech state of the art machine who requires these additional extras to function beyond my peak capabilities? Truth is some days this machine of magnificence battles to raise its bottom out of bed.

Do I miss my rude food, oh yes, can I live without it, definitely.

It is but another step forward in a journey of life as I seek more not the sake of greed, but instead to enjoy and savour and ultimately share with others.

Nite all.

The Whole Food

I have heard a lot of talk about whole food and as an avid eater, cook anti-dieter, I feel it is my responsibility to clear up certain misconceptions in this matter.

If I may be so bold as to quote from my never to published potential bestseller “Naked Eating and other Habits”, ‘You are not what you eat, you are in fact a walking talking food processor. You eat it, process it and churn it out. Done’

My profession interpretation of whole food is as it implies, whole. A whole chicken, whole apple or apple pie, whole leg of lamb. Despite my passionate approach to eating and the art of forking objects on my dinner plate, the assumption to eat till full, rest and enter phase two will not lead to untold joy unless you accept who you are and are comfortable with it.

It is not the volume of food that we consume, but in fact the time frame, circumstances and social surroundings that impact on our blood pressure and bloated midriffs. If we accept a meal as a social event as such laugh, chat and embrace it instead of our Western culture of attacking it in silence or in from of an electronic device and shovelling down opious amounts of processed fried fats, we might see that there is a world outside our curtains.

This morning I had fresh avocado on wholewheat toast with butter, ground black pepper and salt and ate it on the patio overlooking the trees, gardens and children waiting for their school bus to arrive. It was a refreshing meal in more ways than one.

Rob, you have inspired me by raising my interest and passion for food again, thank you Sir. Karen your peasant remedies research will be incorporated and is much appreciated. Candy for wanting to strangle me, refraining and endless support Tracey for the lectures on the importance of lunch, Merci

My mission and vision is simple. I will eat my way to health and in the process enlighten and encourage my daughters to embrace food passionately and not settle for the crap we grab on the run as we sprint through life. Time to slow down and smell the aroma.

Good Nite All

What would you do?

There were two songs going through my head when I though about this blog. The first was Crosby Stills Nash and Young "If you can be with the one you love honey, love the one you're with" and the second was Bruce Springsteen "Human Touch".

Both indicate that its ok to have a non committal relationship for the sake of physical pleasure and that there aren't any consequences. Now believe me I love the sight of a beautiful woman as much as the next guy and have all the urges and desires any guy would have. It is by no means easy to consider a relationship when you have to question your motives and especially if you are hurting.
I love women, their mannerisms, chattiness and emotions, their gentle touch and passion in all aspects of their life. It is all intertwined and networked and somehow there is a reason less woman die of heart attacks than men.

So what would you do?
What would you do for love?
Would you walk away for love?
Would you consider swallowing your pride for love?
Would you change for love?

I decided early on in my divorce that I would do anything to "fix" all that needed to be fixed and thus enable me to move on with my life. What I could fix and I still battle with is time, I cannot fix that. The old phrase that time heals all is only true if you genuinely can forgive and avoid bitterness.
The past is like a melted chocolate. It is kinda lost its purpose yet it can either bring you joy and pleasure or make you angry because it is messy and not what you expected, the choice is yours. Maybe even a little like my belly.

There is a Meatloaf song I paraphrased " I would do anything for love, but I won't eat that", funny but reminds me of playing hide the pumpkin on my plate as a kid.

What does the future hold? Who knows! I need to continually work at who I am and accept more than I criticise, I can't give up and so I rise each morning sometimes wearily. By getting up I am in the game of life and unless you play you can't participate.

Nite All

The Complete Idiots Guide to Dating

Welcome to 'The Complete Idiots Guide to Dating for 2011'

All your queries, myths, unspoken truths will not be addressed, they won't be answered but there will be recommendations and words of wisdom tainted ever so slightly by a pale ale.

This not a how-to manual but more of a guide to managing and getting the most out your marriage by applying the 5 Foundation Philosophies. So without any further delays, let's get ready for play.

1. Listen.
Many a man has been heard to utter 'I can't hear without a beer' or his partner has sweetly stated 'Chat and tea, just you and me'. The truth is that we need to be receptive to each other and hear what each other has to say.

2. Touch
This is not the game also known as naked tag or Espionage 101 Booby Trap, but affirmation, assurance, hugs that just drain your worries away and make you close your eyes and enjoy the moment. The simple joy of holding hands and of eyes meeting and lips smiling.

3. Deeds
We do things for people and yet we often neglect those closest to us. My daughter loves it when I massage her head, she almost goes into a trance and enters a state where she would doze off if I didn't tickle her. Making someone a cup of tea or a filling the chocolate jar before they wake up and leave the lid off. Sitting through Karate Kid when you would rather have your prostrate checked the old 'hold your breath' way!
Do a Deed a Day.

4. Laugh
Learn to laugh more often and see the funny side of life. Don't become a fool as there are serious sides to life as well. I chose to joke about everything and as such my partner could not share a lot with me. That was my loss. Laugh together, love together and learn to cry together. That sort of sharing is essential. I have cried with my girls and it was so honest and so raw I could not explain it to you.

And finally

5. Live
What's the point of holding back when you only have one chance at this. Make pancakes naked, sing in a public area, buy a stranger a gift, help someone across the street even if it means you might be late for work. Imagine the clouds are magical shapes and be better than you want to be. Spend time playing with kids or dogs or something different, deliver cupcakes to random people and stop to smell the roses.

That's it.
That's all I have.
Dream your reality and live it.
Sadness is acceptable and smiles are forever.

Good Nite