A Walking Advertisement

We are walking advertisements and as such we all have a style, a look or an image we portray.

This includes our lifestyle and the way we wish people to see us. Some take great pride in appearance and as such do not wish to be associated with others who might cause them to be seen in a lesser light.

Others are obsessed with what they drive even to the degree that they do want to be seen in a lower "class" of vehicle.

Then you have the tree huggers a la fashionable vegans, these folk will often find difficulty telling the difference between a hot dog and a real dog even if it was flirting amorously with their leg.

This doesn't allow the carnivors the right to classify all white meat as wannabe veggies and meat on a stick as digestive toothpicks.

You are what you wear, you sell your soul to the god of Levi or Soviet, you dress up or down to tell the world, see me, love me or beware of me. A famous stripper whose stage name escapes me once said, "a monkey draped in silk and diamonds remains a monkey still".

That watch, those shoes, the fragrance makes you feel special, boosts your self esteem and allows you to live a little beyond yourself.

I have a selection of pipes, a brass Zippo and a stunning Humidor. I also have a plastic watch, old underwear and one pot and pan. I live somewhere between the naked Dad and the single chef, or something like that.

My point is this. It really doesn't matter who you are, who you want to be or what you used to be, just be happy with yourself.

Love yourself, embrace the you that you are and it will permeate to those around you.

Nite All  

What would you do?

There were two songs going through my head when I though about this blog. The first was Crosby Stills Nash and Young "If you can be with the one you love honey, love the one you're with" and the second was Bruce Springsteen "Human Touch".

Both indicate that its ok to have a non committal relationship for the sake of physical pleasure and that there aren't any consequences. Now believe me I love the sight of a beautiful woman as much as the next guy and have all the urges and desires any guy would have. It is by no means easy to consider a relationship when you have to question your motives and especially if you are hurting.
I love women, their mannerisms, chattiness and emotions, their gentle touch and passion in all aspects of their life. It is all intertwined and networked and somehow there is a reason less woman die of heart attacks than men.

So what would you do?
What would you do for love?
Would you walk away for love?
Would you consider swallowing your pride for love?
Would you change for love?

I decided early on in my divorce that I would do anything to "fix" all that needed to be fixed and thus enable me to move on with my life. What I could fix and I still battle with is time, I cannot fix that. The old phrase that time heals all is only true if you genuinely can forgive and avoid bitterness.
The past is like a melted chocolate. It is kinda lost its purpose yet it can either bring you joy and pleasure or make you angry because it is messy and not what you expected, the choice is yours. Maybe even a little like my belly.

There is a Meatloaf song I paraphrased " I would do anything for love, but I won't eat that", funny but reminds me of playing hide the pumpkin on my plate as a kid.

What does the future hold? Who knows! I need to continually work at who I am and accept more than I criticise, I can't give up and so I rise each morning sometimes wearily. By getting up I am in the game of life and unless you play you can't participate.

Nite All

MSG

MSG!
How many of you know what it means?
Yes it is that whatchamacallit they put in food that has the potential ability to sprout forth a third eye, grow hair on the palms of your hands and permanently stain your clothes if you spill it on them.

But it could also be something completely different, we have a little game we play at the dinner table called "MSG" time. In our partially normal universe it stands for, "What made you Mad, Sad and Glad today"? And so we go around the table and share and express ourselves to each other. It is not only therapeutic (although my girls have at times called it irritating) but allows for healthy conversation over supper.

So, didn't think you would get off that easily did you, what was your MSG moments today? And take a few seconds and list them, try it.
Mine are as follows:
Mad - I made a basic admin error that wasn't noticed by me , but was picked up by one of our juniors. I was wrong to get mad about it but I did.
Sad - in my counselling session I was saddened about the destruction divorce causes to all those around it. It can so easily harm innocent bystanders unless it is addressed and worked on.
Glad - I shared a bowl of popcorn with Nicole tonight as we watched the Mentalist together.

It also forces us in times of hardship and depression to find a ray of sunlight, some hope in a seemingly lost world.

Give it a try and let's see what comes out of it.

Good Nite All

A Date With 2011

I have been told by an amazing friend that I am too critical and hard on myself, I take criticism to heart and am very quick to accept blame for situations.

I believe it comes from being very driven as a young sportsman at school, I did well and was satisfied but was very hard on myself.

Somehow in my marriage I felt I had to prove what a good husband and father I was. My family wanted for nothing and in the process I created a debt hole I am still stuck in. I took on all the debt in my divorce and let my ex-wife take most of the furniture for her and my girls.

So enough of the past, what does 2011 hold for me and what the heck am I going to do with the debt. I was keen to auction it all to the highest bidder, but somehow not even Willy Wonka could pull that off.

So I need a date with 2011, to get a better understanding of her needs and behaviour. Perhaps I will learn of some manner that she can assist me with my previous relationship with a lady called Debt. The future will be determined by using what 2011 offers and using what Debt taught me (and scarred me).

And the resolution and outcome?

No idea yet but watch this space.

Chow all

30 May Sunday

I am again alone in my flat settling down after the whirlwind chaos of my girls Simon and Nicole for the past 3 nights, an adventure in itself with hints of crumbs and other clinging franctically to the carpet,

The girls have gone back home and I must re-adjust to 2 weeks without them. So in a nutshell my newly portable manageable pop in family has popped out for 2 weeks and so my life goes. I have been officially divorced 5 and a half months and been out of the family home 8 months.

Since then I have moved 4 times and am now settled in a lovely 1 bedroom apartment with a large lounge, bathroom and a large kitchen.

My curtains are a gift as is my too short net curtaining!

My eyes grow weary as my medication kicks in, so it shall be farewell till once more i am lured to impart my experiences. Good Night and happy dreams