A Plea

Dear friends,

I am in need of assistance and I am not used to asking for it.

My situation is as follows, I am in desperate need of a computer, my Apple laptop is about 7 years old and is dying rapidly. I spent 45 minutes to get one web page to open. I am not able to edit my photographs and am just a little frustrated. I have a keyboard, monitor and mouse if that helps.

I was somehow hoping that I could survive till June and hopefully by putting a little aside each month I could afford one. Truth is that I still have a third of this years school fees to pay for my girls and the new year begins in 4 days time.

A single divorced Dad with 2 teenage daughters, I am not able to plug all the holes and am humbled to write this message.

So folks, any ideas, assistance or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Nite nite.

Note: This blog took over an hour and a half to post, a little frustration was expressed

My Young Friends

After a 10hr work day including 320km of driving, to sit with dear friends and enjoy a magnificent chicken and vegetable soup with a tennis ball sized dumpling sprinkled with cinnamon sugar, well it was an amazing way to end off a really busy day.

Special young friends like Craig and Gen, Brad and her Vickiness and Eric and Adel allow me to see the passion they have for life. They laugh, live, shout and cry so much easier than I did.
Their bond with God and each other has made me so proud to call them friends and I know they have so much more to give.

Isn't it sometimes sad to get to the midlife years and somehow lose touch with the younger generation. They seem to love and live more passionately and experience so much more than many of us who have sought security and policies and bonds and strived to live the middle class dream.
I have no policies, no bond and no worldly security, I live month to month and even though I battle at times I am coping. I am happier than I have been in a long time even though there are still huge financial hurdles I must face.
The difference is that I am honest with my feelings and am no longer afraid to admit when I am sad or lonely or excited and feel loved.
My young friends live in the real world and address issues on a level that makes them more mature than many folk much older than them.

So this blog is a thank you to each of them for the incredible personalities and people they are, I am truly honoured and humbled to call you friends.

Nite All

A Date With 2011

I have been told by an amazing friend that I am too critical and hard on myself, I take criticism to heart and am very quick to accept blame for situations.

I believe it comes from being very driven as a young sportsman at school, I did well and was satisfied but was very hard on myself.

Somehow in my marriage I felt I had to prove what a good husband and father I was. My family wanted for nothing and in the process I created a debt hole I am still stuck in. I took on all the debt in my divorce and let my ex-wife take most of the furniture for her and my girls.

So enough of the past, what does 2011 hold for me and what the heck am I going to do with the debt. I was keen to auction it all to the highest bidder, but somehow not even Willy Wonka could pull that off.

So I need a date with 2011, to get a better understanding of her needs and behaviour. Perhaps I will learn of some manner that she can assist me with my previous relationship with a lady called Debt. The future will be determined by using what 2011 offers and using what Debt taught me (and scarred me).

And the resolution and outcome?

No idea yet but watch this space.

Chow all

Christmas vs the 'D' Factor

There is one thing we all fear more than breaking down in the middle of a desert on a full moon evening and having Aunt Judy lecturing you from the back seat about how cars never broke down in the old days, how she was going to die alone and wild beasts will devour her. You refrain from telling her that not even the hungriest coyote would eat her sinewy old carcass and the amount of reserve methane she transported in her intestine would make Little Boy (the atomic bomb) look like a Christmas cracker.

The one thing we fear is debt.

Personal Debt has the ability to bring us all to our knees, break relationships, cause a wide array of illnesses including high blood pressure, stress and sleep depravation to mention a few. It gets worse because our society encourages debt and the moment you lose control it spirals so quickly that before you know it all you have worked for, slaved for is at risk of being taken from you.

Do you remember that first clothing account, the ultimate joy of your first purchase, the excitement and sense of power as you walked out the store, buyers high and man o man you were untouchable, in a good way not like the mucus glazed kid at the doctors room that is blowing snot bubbles through its nostril as it sleeps on its moms lap. Nope you were James Bond, Spiderman, Invisible Girl and Mr Bean all wrapped in one, you were untouchable.

Then you applied and received your first credit card, shiny, new and begging to be used. You bought a few things and then splurged and bought a big item, you were a little nervous and had doubts, but you did it. Then it was too late. You used your second credit card to subsidise your first. Visa vs MasterCard and nobody won yet the chaos continued.

My life is filled with bad decisions made with good intentions and wishes and dreams that somehow faded under the burden of debt.

I trust you will heed this warning and somehow realise that things mean nothing and love and family and friends carry so much more meaning.

Good nite

Is Life Affordable

Living! Damn its expensive and yes I know it beats the alternative, but good grief I can't be the only one battling.

Milk, cereal, beer, chocolate and other essential items have skyrocketed and cash is dwindling and disappearing faster than Toyota's reliability reputation.

I hate that I have to 'survive' for one or two weeks a month and somehow make a plan to get through. Its frustrating that I cannot seem to put any savings together, have no insurance and am basically surviving from month to month. It can be soul destroying at times, please don't get me wrong, I have food in the house and my girls are fine, but I would love to have medical cover in place for them and ultimately me.

If you had a choice between soap or shampoo, what would you choose? Soap provides unlimited entertainment if dropped in the bath and you try to find it. It does however on the negative side burn the eyes more than shampoo. Shampoo comes in a container and floats in the bath making it profoundly easier to find. Decisions decisions!

I have one daughter giggling and the other sulking at the moment, ladies will be ladies and emotions run rife and stable is not a word to be used to describe them. Teenagers have to have boundries and yet wish to feel as if they are independant and not controlled or caged in. To find a balance can be easy or harder than keeping carrot juice down.

My ramblings tonight must end.
My cash flow is non existant and the piggy banks have been raided and pillaged more times than France.

Good nite

Cuppachino Dreams

I have made a cuppachino I would have killed for! It looked so pretty I wanted to kiss it. You ever wanted to kiss a cuppachino? Well I did! WOW

‎​it was like that moment when the Prince first lays eyes on the princess and the world slows down and the music stops playing. You could not hear an ant breathe

Mountains collided, waves crashed, nuns wept!

How do you top 'nuns weeping'?

My girls have just spent a week with me and despite the fact that Nicole wasn't well and I worked really hard, we had a good time. We chatted laughed, agreed and argued, feelings were hurt and comforting words were required, but this is life and it was good. The cuppachinos pretty much describe my girls in my life. You can't get too much of them, they are great even if they have no sugar and are cold. They are great any time of the day or night and when you have a cuppachino in your hand, you seem to forget about life and its burdens for a while.

When I kiss my girls on their brow, I feel as if I am telling them in some unspeakable language that I am there, that I care, that they mean more than everything else and that kiss is a promise that I will never stop loving them. Ever.

In case the coffee concubines kidnap me tonight and whisk me off to wherever it is they take people, have an really groovy tomorrow and stop for a cup of coffee.

Spend a little time forgetting about your problems, your concerns, your debt, how you are going to pay the bond. Just close your eyes and smile and say 'thank you' for what you have.

Tonight I am alone again, it isn't nice but I had seven great nights.

Good nite