Passionate Princess

When I hear her voice I am instantly aware that passion of a woman compared to passion of a man are separated by voids not visible to the naked eye.

We all carry some underlying tone in our voices whether we are aware of it or not. Some carry a pretext of nagging, others mischievousness, cheekiness and even arrogance.

The lady in question who for purposes of this tale shall be addressed as "D" has the ability to fill a room like the faintest hint of an expensive perfume that tickles your nose as it brushes by you seductively. She giggles, flirts with her eyes as she gently bites her bottom lip and when your guard is down, has the ability to ask a question that leaves you squirming in your seat.

Picture yourself on a rooftop with a dark-haired beauty sensual in every manner sipping a delicious full-bodied glass of red wine and discussing life, love and sex. Imagine laughing and sharing as you try not to visualise the pictures you so desperately wish to for fear of falling off the roof. D is passionate about love, her children, her man and her career. When she entered politics she did so with the same energy she does life and this includes dedication, compassion and a temper so fierce I am amazed she has not entered parliament with a baseball bat. 

She is as comfortable addressing a board of directors as she is serving soup at a homeless shelter with an orphan in her arms. She gives and gives and eventually crashes and burns in a heap of exhausted emotions convinced she made no difference and in these moments of human frailty, she is even more beautiful than ever. It is here that she is able to let others love and care for here and nurse her back to rock and roll political goddess mode and set her loose on our society again. 

To be in the presence of a beautiful woman is indeed one of life's true blessings and when stimulated by her brain and a desire to change the world with a belief that it can be done, it inspires us to look beyond our petty emotions and focus on a larger greater need.

Nite All

Sad Days

Why must I leave?

I am surrounded by love and yet I must walk away and leave it behind for a month.

I dont understand this.

I had given up on love and as such had placed all relationships on hold and guess what happened, yup a lady appeared like the lady from the lake. She appraised me, digested and analysed what she had read and sat before her and decided that they added up. I was unaware that I was being "interviewed" as most guys are. Gentleman, the slightest detail, the manner in which you speak, greet her, listen and even say goodbye is checked and ticked. With most guys, the woman simply has to show up and giggle and we are sold initially.

My girls are blossoming and growing up so quickly and independantly that I am seeing them in the independance and enjoying the personalities, thought processes and the manner in which they assess and judge people and situations.

Essentially they are grown-ups with a need for daddy to be around and be a bouncing board for questions when required.

I can accept that.

As for my Lisa, she makes me feel as if I can love again. I am afraid to believe it is all true because it is so real. A hug, a kiss, holding hands and sharing food, wine and thoughts together. I had accepted that this would never be again and that I was not worthy of love from another. Now that I am faced with it, I want to linger on it, savor it and somehow bottle it and take it back to Lesotho with me. It cannot be expressed in words, there are are too many senses involved.

Gabi is a 6 year old bundle of love that cuddles and giggles and has wormed her way into my heart. Bless you angel.

And yet I must leave and it hurts and tears at my emotions.

I shall return but my ladies await and I must go.

Miss you

Nite All

New Love

When I first began my blogging it was a survival mechanism for keeping the demons at bay and allowing me to try and find some method in the madness and destruction of divorce. It seemed to grow and take momentum and I found that there was a certain therapuutical peace and understanding that came from sharing my darkest voyages.

This is not one of those blogs.

From the wounded soul I was able to heal and grow and most importantly accept what had happened, my girls and I found safety in a family unit of 3 and we shared in a manner I am truly blessed about.

I dabbled briefly in dating and reached a stage where I accepted that perhaps this was not meant to be for now. So I plowed my energy into my girls, friends and studying.

And then it happened.

I received an invitation for coffee from a lady I had never met. I was a little nervous and had no idea what to expect. I figured coffee was an hour at the most and then I could escape. We met, we chatted, we drank cuppachinos and I studied her without trying to get caught. Her smile reached all the way to her eyes and was as infectious as a yawn, her hands were beautiful and well manicured and she had a glow about her skin. My mouth felt a little dry and I hoped I would not open my mouth and no words would come out. I held my hands together lest she saw that I was shaking ever so slightly. It was a gloriously amazing coffee encounter.

We parted and I felt as if a part of me had left with her.
I knew that I had to see her again, I had to hold her hand and if the gods granted me one final wish, it would be to kiss her.
That was 2 months ago, her 6 year old daughter and I seemed to gel from our first meeting and my girls "approve" of the new lady in my life. I expected to lose her when my sudden departure to Lesotho appeared like a pimple on the evening of a date, I even offered her a "get out of jail free" card. Simply put, I would allow her to walk away from me with no hard feelings, fortunately she declined.

Having someone in your life that you can share with, chat to and cuddle when you camt stop smiling or crying is possibly one of life's greatest blessings. To love and be loved is beyond description.

It has been 3 years since my life crumbled to its core, but from that brokeness has arisen something so special and beautiful that it makes the journey through hell worthwhile.

Bless all of you who have encouraged, supported, cared for prayed for my girls and I. Thank you seems such an unworthy response for what it means to us.

To my two new ladies in my life, you are so much more than I ever expected or deserved.

Nite all

My Teenage Treasures

I have 2 teenage daughters that are the reason I breathe, they are the smile on my face and the bounce in my belly when I dance.

When I look back on the past 2 and a half years of my life and the trauma and adjustments that were made and endured, I am amazed how "normal" they are.
Both have battled initially at school but did well at the end of this year, both have had and do have relationships and I have only threatened to kill one individual of the male species.
Both initially shared a bedroom with me and then a tiny bachelors flat and never complained.
They accepted the fact that they was no money and when I was unable to be a Dad, they cared for me.

The result of this experience is that I have 2 fighters who although polite and well mannered, speak their minds and are blossoming into amazing woman.

We have created our own new rituals and routines and now operate as a unite of 3. This includes sharing one bathroom and I have done a combination of a raindance, exotic tapdancing and howling and begging when their 10 minute bath somehow exceeds 30 minutes.

I praise God that I am where I am and upon reflection I have no idea how I survived on a single salary. My budget doesn't allow for fruit and bran but somehow accommodates chocolate cereal, beer and cheese.

So as this year draws to an end for Simon, Nicole and I, we would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas filled with love, laughter and lunacy. May your hearts with love and your homes blessed with visitors.

To my amazing family (especially my Mom) and fantastic friends, an Oprah sized extravaganza of a hug to you.

Nite all

Pictures courtesy of iCandyphotography

Thanks Be to You

In the past 36 hours I have setup a home network Mac system, had a tattoo (a gift from my girls) longed for   a birthday cake and received 2 and thats just the start of it.

It has been a whirlwind of adrenaline a sugarless and chemical free high and emotional shock.
I have loved, been loved, been spoilt, laughed and cried and had an one armed bathed.
I have been driven around a golf estate in a golf cart by Nicole and Simon and gone from complete calm to the verge of screaming like a Williams sister and jumping off in a sheer act of survival. I spent 2 and a bit years in the Army with 18 year olds who were not qualified to pick their noses without adult supervision, but were deemed perfectly capable of operating a rifle with live ammunition and they scared me less than my daughters driving display.

Would I do it again, hell yes, who wants to end up looking like Mickey Rouke who has had so many facelifts that his belly button is now a dimple on his chin?

I cried because my silent birthday wish was for a cake and i was blessed with 2, I had a meal with family and shared coffee with friends. I received over a 100 birthday wishes and was humbled by the kind remarks teasing, for those who took the time to tease, laugh, insult and wish me, bless you for making me a very happy man.

Two years ago I celebrated my first birthday as a separated man and the road towards today has not been laden with chocolate bunnies and midgets wielding toothpicks as spears and matches as flame throwers. It has been a spiritual and emotional journey that has made the Oprah Windfree Show look like an episode of South Park.

So tonight, it is with a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat that I acknowledge each of you and the remarkable role you have played in the lives of Simon, Nicole and myself and humbly thank you all.

  
Nite my special friends.