Willie Nelson Rocks

I like Willie Nelson.

I am sure more than half of you have clicked to the next blog by now, but hang on. If I had said I like Kim Kardashian or one of her 20 sisters then fair enough.

What makes Willie Nelson stand out for me? His hair? NO! His music? Well some of it is ok. His acting? Um I think Chock Norris acting in a musical might do a better job. Then what is it.

He is a survivor. Born in 1933 and fighting the establishment and standing up for what he believed in has not made him a favourite with the authorities. He has ever always fought for what he believes in. In 1993 due to mismanagement of his accountants he was bankrupt and lost all he had. He started from scratch at the age of 60, me starting from scratch at the age of 43 seems like childsplay in comparison. He paid back his debts and his friends bought some of his assets and rented them back to him at a nominal rate. I too have friends that have lent me almost all that I have in my flat, I do own my own underwear and pride myself that these are replaced once they wear through in the gravity regions causing a free falling scenario I am very uncomfortable with.

He has been married 4 times and has 7 kids, he has been arrested numerous time for the possession of marijuana but I suppose we are all allowed our faults, this is what makes us human after all.
He has fought for and campaigned for many years for causes such as Farm Aid, Bio-diesel, Anti-war and animal and horse welfare.
In comparison, I advocate free speech (not hate speech) free beer (My Free the Froth Campaign is in its early stages) and encourage the "Hug Someone Daily" slogan. I have been married once and have 2 kids and  have only been arrested once but not charged.

Willie Nelson is a free spirit operating within a system made to protect the middle classes from any threat to their little world they have cocooned themselves in, he fights and sings for what he believes in and has more hair on his head than I have on my entire body.
He reminds us that we need to do more than just our so-called 9-5 duty, I need to leave my comfort zone and embrace my neighbours warts and all, irrespective of their religious, social and musical choices.
Yes opera hurts but not as much as Oprah.

If they dont like beer, have a fruit juice with them.

Nite All

Rock and Roll Parenting

Just under a hundred miles an hour on a potholed filled road with rock and roll blaring and singing at the top of my voice.

My head is clear and I had coffee with some beautiful amazing friends this weekend. This is the mood food that your soul requires, friends, hugs, laughter and a recharging of your positive mojo.

This overflowed into my joyful singing race to the border, I was Thelma and Louise served with a side order of Chuck Norris and just a pinch of Wolverine. Do I hear a hoohah? Lol

30 days till I see my girls again so time to buckle down and work. Eat the stew, admire the scenery and stay sane. It is Nicole's birthday next week and Simon's next month. I won't be there for either, its a choice my girls and I made together when I accepted this job. I know that by seeing them 3 days a month I am missing out on a large part of their life. If I had to philosophise it all I would be as miserable as a chubby boy who can't touch his toes. Instead I smile and when I don't I make contact with my support crew back home.

Parenting means making tough choices, we all do and we live by them.
Bravo to every parent out there, rock and roll parenting means doing your best and smiling when you feel like crying. I admire single parents and the tenacity and inner strength they show at all times. Yes we cry behind the scenes and lie awake worrying about making it to the end of the month, we struggle to give our kids the best and beg borrow and steal to see the look of absolute joy when they have it. We are survivors and silent worriers, but dedicated and hard working and often survive by accepting love and support from our friends.

Sometimes I have to push life to the limit, it is after all rock and roll to me.

Nite all

New Love

When I first began my blogging it was a survival mechanism for keeping the demons at bay and allowing me to try and find some method in the madness and destruction of divorce. It seemed to grow and take momentum and I found that there was a certain therapuutical peace and understanding that came from sharing my darkest voyages.

This is not one of those blogs.

From the wounded soul I was able to heal and grow and most importantly accept what had happened, my girls and I found safety in a family unit of 3 and we shared in a manner I am truly blessed about.

I dabbled briefly in dating and reached a stage where I accepted that perhaps this was not meant to be for now. So I plowed my energy into my girls, friends and studying.

And then it happened.

I received an invitation for coffee from a lady I had never met. I was a little nervous and had no idea what to expect. I figured coffee was an hour at the most and then I could escape. We met, we chatted, we drank cuppachinos and I studied her without trying to get caught. Her smile reached all the way to her eyes and was as infectious as a yawn, her hands were beautiful and well manicured and she had a glow about her skin. My mouth felt a little dry and I hoped I would not open my mouth and no words would come out. I held my hands together lest she saw that I was shaking ever so slightly. It was a gloriously amazing coffee encounter.

We parted and I felt as if a part of me had left with her.
I knew that I had to see her again, I had to hold her hand and if the gods granted me one final wish, it would be to kiss her.
That was 2 months ago, her 6 year old daughter and I seemed to gel from our first meeting and my girls "approve" of the new lady in my life. I expected to lose her when my sudden departure to Lesotho appeared like a pimple on the evening of a date, I even offered her a "get out of jail free" card. Simply put, I would allow her to walk away from me with no hard feelings, fortunately she declined.

Having someone in your life that you can share with, chat to and cuddle when you camt stop smiling or crying is possibly one of life's greatest blessings. To love and be loved is beyond description.

It has been 3 years since my life crumbled to its core, but from that brokeness has arisen something so special and beautiful that it makes the journey through hell worthwhile.

Bless all of you who have encouraged, supported, cared for prayed for my girls and I. Thank you seems such an unworthy response for what it means to us.

To my two new ladies in my life, you are so much more than I ever expected or deserved.

Nite all

New Years Resolutions

It seems a reasonable time to bring up the matter of New Years Resolutions. We have survived January and now the real grind of work, school and life has settled into some sort of routine.

The lady in our reception at work was telling me how exhausted she is, the maddening chaos of getting back into a routine is indeed hard work and stressful. With my girls it is the parents responsibility to buy all the text books and get them covered, stockists ran out and then the re-ordering and running up and down began.

It seems strange that my resolutions are no longer give up beer, exercise, study or save for that special unnecessary yet essential toy.

This year like last year it is simply to survive. That’s it.

Times are tough and recession has hit my industry in a big way and there are times when you are unsure if you will be eating chicken or praying for an invitation to supper from a friend.

As a good friend told me, my situation is not unique and many find themselves in this predicament. The workplace has transformed itself that we very seldom are in the same field of employement that we were 10 years ago.

I have been a Coca Cola Rep, a Safety Rep, A Health Food Rep, A Travel Agent, Been involved in Car Hire, worked for a national magazine and now am involved in the Quality field in Engineering and mining. No I didn’t get paid for the exotic dancing so its not a field of employment.

My take on Darwin is not that we originated from apes, but rather that humans evolve to adapt to and survive their present circumstances. Survival is not negotiable.

When the wheels fall off in my life and I lose hope and my sanity reaches that of Jehovah Witness at a Redneck Wedding, I call out to a very special friend. She knows me better than most and understands my chaos and somehow manages to calm me, focus my mind and encourage me.

In our darkest moments, an angel is sent to be the company we need till we can once again see some light.

Nite All

I am Not Superman

It is a harsh reality and one I would prefer not to mention so openly, however I feel that we have shared so much on our journey I should not stop now.

I hear you ask how I know I am not Superman? Well here are the basic questions that need to be answered.
1. Have you ever changed ïn a phone booth or any other public place?
2. Have you ever had diarrhoea? Superman Doesn't get diarrhoea
3. Have you ever been late for a flight? Trick question folks, Superman doesn't fly in planes.
4. Have you ever worn a leotard and a cape and been sober at the time?
5. Do you wear Chuck Norris pajamas to bed at night? Superman does.

So my reality hit home today as my withdrawals took a serious turn for the worse. I feel giddy, tired, tense and tight chested in a manner unlike Dolly Parton.
Add to that emotionally low and as sad as wife who is unable to find something for her husband to do on a Saturday afternoon and you can partially imagine where I found myself.
I was not very much in love with life at all. It dawned on me that I had no choice but to get to my GP at once and confess and beg for forgiveness.
Her response was as follows, "you have stopped your meds haven't you and please don't tell me you stopped them suddenly". The specific meds I am on need to be fazed out over a minimum period of 2 months. They are some of the harshest to stop suddenly on.

To cut a long story shorter than Latoya Jacksons music career, I spent my last food money on a doctors visit and some chemicals.

Long live drugs and rock and roll.

Nite All

Yesterdays Youth

Its cold outside, my washing machine is wailing and moaning like a 6 year old being dragged off to Sunday school and I have just had coffee and rusks. Last night I had a burger with good friends and spent time at a shopping centre waiting for my Simon and her friend Shanny Pooh as they mingled, giggled and socialised. I watched young folk killing time running up and down escalators, smoking, sharing slush puppies and telling each other how "hot" or "not" other teenagers were.

I found myself wanting to respond the way my parents would have and then remembered that what seemed like yesterday, that used to be me. Time sure flies when life is pushing you downhill on a bicycle with no brakes. I have tried to take the attitude of less shouting and moaning and more attention, yet maintaining the boundries and discipline. So I want to be a fun loving rock. Maintain eye contact when I am spoken to and LISTEN without prejudice and answer with love and honesty.

Not easy.

I constantly have to remind myself that I am Yesterdays Youth and used to be the frowned upon and lectured to.

We were just looking for love and attention in a tough playground called life.

Good Nite All.