Monday 31 May

Sometimes I feel like God is walking around with a huge stick hitting me on the head, why? Well my head has been sore for a while.

I know this isn't the way I am supposed to see it, but it was a long day that started well and deteriorated faster than a cannon ball down a mine shaft. To make a seemingly long tale of woe a short description of "Woe is me and I am feeling sorry for myself", 2 fellows who have mothers but are not aware of who their natural fathers are took it upon themselves to force themselves into my old home and destroy the front door and damage 2 security gates. Add to that an unnecessary abusive phone call, an emotional melt down in my old family home and a metal object (unwelcome and intrusive) in the front wheel of my car and I was willing to give up on Monday and retire home.

Isn't it interesting that we can so be affected by others actions and yet we often pretend that they have no impact on our lives?

Good news for today, well my angel sent me the most gorgeous photo of herself in her newly made FIFA World Cup hat, it made me laugh and miss her at the same time. My other informed me that she had a "kik bum weekend" which implies she had a lot of fun and that too warms the heart on a Jburg winters night.

This journey has eaten into my soul and made me question so much about life, God, joy, love and friendship and i feel as if I am only ankle deep in the pool of emotional and spiritual discovery. Where to next? I am not sure. I have to trust and somehow pray and make the effort to awaken each day, bounce or drag myself out of bed and face the curve balls life has been throwing at me.

Well my friend my bed calls and I am unable to ignore it's plea's any longer.

Good Night

30 May Sunday

I am again alone in my flat settling down after the whirlwind chaos of my girls Simon and Nicole for the past 3 nights, an adventure in itself with hints of crumbs and other clinging franctically to the carpet,

The girls have gone back home and I must re-adjust to 2 weeks without them. So in a nutshell my newly portable manageable pop in family has popped out for 2 weeks and so my life goes. I have been officially divorced 5 and a half months and been out of the family home 8 months.

Since then I have moved 4 times and am now settled in a lovely 1 bedroom apartment with a large lounge, bathroom and a large kitchen.

My curtains are a gift as is my too short net curtaining!

My eyes grow weary as my medication kicks in, so it shall be farewell till once more i am lured to impart my experiences. Good Night and happy dreams