The Santa Session

And so it came to be that Christmas was approaching, ACDC Christmas Rock & Roll was blasting through the Shopping Centre and the GRUMPS (Grey Rude Unhappy Miserable Parent'S) were muttering under their breath about how expensive things were. They also detested the ACDC music, afterall, the stores had been playing BoneyM and Panflute Christmas Tidings for the past 25 years, why change now! Hrmphff!

I queued for Santa with all the kids and hence drew strange looks from the parents, a little girl no older than 5 was in front of me and after staring at me for a full five minutes looked me in the eye and asked, "Where is your child"? I explained that they no longer believed in Santa and I was in the queue because I needed something from Santa. At this point her mother noticed we were chatting and moved her daughter away from me, I was given the same look Macaulay Culkin's parents first eyed Michael Jackson before vast amounts of money exchanged hands.
But did this stop the little girl, oh no. She stuck out her little hand and said, "Hello, I am Katy", I shook her hand and told her my name was Ted. Then I gave her a sweet, a sweet laden with LSD and she was hooked and died after selling her organ for drugs!!! The End!!

Well, not really. She asked why I wanted to see Santa, I told her that I needed to know what to do for Christmas, who needed a present and what did he think I should give them. She frowned a little and then looked at me and said, "A Teddy Bear or a Puppy cos no matter how scared or lonely you get, both would be there till you felt better". I thanked her and left.

You see my friends, jewellery and pretty things, even electronics age and become dated, a puppy will love you, always be happy to see you and grow with you. However, if you are unable to keep a dog, a Teddy will always be there for you no matter what. I am getting myself a Teddy for Christmas, it is my gift from Santa. Yes it is a 10 x 8cm tattoo of a battered bruised Teddy and it reminds me that despite all the trials we face, someone somewhere still needs and depends on us. Christmas is not about you, its about special family, friends and loved ones, so your obligation is to arrive and see who might need that hug or french kiss.

Nite All

My Friend Monday

We all have a "special" friend, someone we have known for years, love like a brother or sister and yet are a little wary of taking them into public.

They are as loyal as an old dog and you know that if you called them at 3 in the morning to help you dispose of a body, they would. Of course you will receive a lecture next to none and a tirade of abuse as well (unless the body is that of your ex), but they would do it.

This is the same relationship I have with Mondays.

I love Monday like an old friend, we have been together as long as I can remember and have shared good and not so good memories. Monday is the puppy that licks your face at 5 in the morning wanting to play, its is also the dog poo you step in in the middle of the night.
Its the girl you loved who broke your heart and the one you will love forever but will never date.
Friday is the pop music of the week while Monday is more of the loud grunge rock you aren't quite in the mood for, its the wrong place at the wrong time.

The misfortune of being born Monday is that it has a responsibility to get you up, kick your bottom out into the street and force you to work to begin a new week. It is the bad parent who has to enforce the discipline even though it would rather play and laugh.
So, perhaps we should embrace Monday and love it a little more, thank it for always being around and knowing that no matter what, Monday will always be on our mind.

Nite All