Describe your God

So what dont we talk about or discuss and never question, religion.
Why?
Well we may offend someone is we had to possibly suggest that our perception of God, Jesus, Buddha or Muhammed is different to theirs, I am sure I have already offended some because their Leader of the Faith was not mentioned.

So let me start by saying that I am Christian and have been so for many years, I have had many fights with the organised church because I dare to question ideas and habits that I feel are outdated and no longer relevant in our time. This can be seen as a rebellious streak that has spanned 29 years or perhaps I am just tired of power struggles and politics that always seems to rear itself in all areas where Man needs to elevate himself.

Describe Jesus as a man and what would you say, I believe he was about 6ft tall, muscular and strong from the years of physical labour and a skin that was darkened from the days in the sun. His hands would be similar to my father-in-laws, hard and calloused with many scars from years of earning his keep as a carpenter, his hair would have been short and dark and his eyes brown. He would have been a man, someone who was as comfortable eating a meal with a bunch of fellow workers as he would have been in the presence of couples and families. He was a devout Jew and I am sure he was raised in their customs and ways.
Here is the crunch, is this what he looked like, was he tall and blond with long hair, was he black or white or something in-between  I dont care, to me it is the same as a friend of mine, I do not love them because of where they came from or what they wear or drive, I do not love them or despise them because they are beautiful or ordinary or harsh on the eye. I love them for who they are, it is something I have attempted in instil in my daughters lives and I pray it will remain with them as they mature and leave home.

Where would I find one as Jesus, would it be in an office, or a middle to upper class society? Would it be in a beautiful building or temple used for worship on a specific day of the week, I think not. The person who I believe has had the most humble yet effective life in our era was non other than Mother Theresa. She lived with those who had nothing, shared and cared and embraced a life with no luxuries and comforts, this where I would expect to find Jesus if He was around today.

My reasons for not attending church are not in the slightest pure and noble or even spiritual, they are logistical and selfish, I choose to spend the time in South Africa with my daughters and in Lesotho I have not found what I am looking for. I dont want to be a white collar Christian and attend an organisation where my 10 or 15% is required to grow that building and its administrators, I want to see it go to the folk who get their hands and knees dirty.

Rather do something once a year and embrace it than visit a club and be comfortable in a habit that clears your conscience for a week.

Nite All

Supper for 8

And so it came to be that supper was planned, invitations sent out and the prospect of food with unfamiliar faces was looming.

I used my usual deep spiritual inner soothing Eastern calming techniques to reach a state of awareness that allowed control. I practiced old and trusted breathing techniques, chanted both loudly and softly. I bathed and cleansed my innermost being with water of joy and friendship and repeated the process 3 times.

In laymans terms, I watched a rugby match with a friend, shouting at the tv and drinking beer! And it was good.

As a Dr, I recommend this therapy for leisurely emotional expression. A cold beverage of the alcoholic variety is highly satisfying.

Then off to dinner and I was the first to arrive, and soon we had the makings of dinner for 8 (and 2 halflings), drinks, starters, main course and dessert followed by coffee for 3 and home.

Topics of discussion included botox, the benefits and costing annually, I was unaware that it was so popular and in particular amongst young men, possibly more so the young medical professionals. The drug usage also seems to be a serious problem. I suppose young, qualified, hard working and easier access to medicinal happy drugs could all lead to an explosive situation.

Teachers and teaching, jogging, well let's say that the food was very good, the company diverse, friendly and easy to chat to and it all ended well.

Jo, you missed a good evening dude! Better not chicken out next time or far harsher means will be sought and applied, remember midgets usually work in pairs haha.

Hi-light of the evening, difficult but possibly coffee for 3 and a discussion about organised Christianty.

Thank you A, was a blast

Good night

Sex Today

Why is it that even though we live in a society where we are exposed to sex to sell us everything under the sun, are we still reluctant to discuss it comfortably?

The mere mention of sex and some folk are already squirming in their seats and the occasional blush sets in. We are by nature sexual creatures and as such have certain desires and emotions that allow us to share intimacy with a fellow human in a very private and pleasurable manner. Should we not be more open to discussing it or is it meant to remain a topic that is seen as taboo.

I would like to see the church take the lead in such a matter, and don't come with the whole guilt and damnation philosophy, but rather be less critical and more understanding. Maybe listen a little more and lecture a little less. Talking down to folk and as a father I have learnt the hard way, will not solve anything.

Please understand that this is by no means an attack on the church, it is just that we need to remain in touch with the reality that our youth encounter on a daily basis.

And what about divorcees, where do we fit in, are we meant to just switch off our 'equipment' for a rainy day, do we become monks and nuns and simply pretend that we have gone from a relationship where we were sexually active to complete celibacy? Wouldn't mind hearing the odd opinion here. And please don't come with the whole 'you should not have got divorced in the first place' argument.

So what is the answer and how do we address this matter and discuss it as mature adults? I think a lot of honesty and sharing is required and as little criticism and damnation as possible.

I was discussing this with a friend today and it was very plain to see that we are quick to judge and point as opposed to listening and hearing.
If you fall outside the comfortable parameter that your moral circle accepts as the norm, it is almost as if you are lumped in with a whole group of others and as such labelled and ignored.

I do not expect a solution from the first person I encounter, but to be able to share an opinion with folk who are open minded enough to realise that sex is, has been and will be happening so instead of sweeping it under a rug, let's be adults about it.

Don't ignore me, I won't go away.

Goodnight

Sundays Thoughts

I have just dropped my girls and am now sitting in church, honestly I don't feel like I want to be here but it beats feeling alone when I feel like this. It is a safe place to be.

I would have thought that by now it would have been easier for me to drop them and just go, but it still feels the same and I find myself wondering how they feel. Simon always waits at the gate till I have driven off, it can't be easy for her. She is a teenager and with so much going through her head, she has to deal with divorce as well.

I have not found anything yet that takes this pain away, I want to drink because it numbs everything, but I am too scared. I want to run away, but my girls need me. So I am stuck in a hell I never saw. I need to go back there again tonight as I forgot to take the bloody maintenance money. Lovely. This is not because I have anything against paying it, but I do not enjoy going there.

Was life easier before this or was it just easier because I wasn't alone.

My girls are so precious to me and I treasure their hugs so much and miss them terribly.. When I drop them it feels as if I am leaving a huge chunk of myself behind. I am told it gets easier, maybe you just get more familiar with it or become hardened to it.

What else did I learn today, don't ask for someone's opinion unless you really want an honest answer.

Is it not amazing that in a room of 150 plus people I still feel alone. One of the positive factors I suppose is that you can be alone a lot easier and ponder your thoughts and ideas.

Positive thoughts for today, saw a newly engaged couple and they were just beaming. Saw full families and by that I mean Father, Mother and kids together and they seemed to be having a good time. My girls are amazing.

On the drive taking them back to their Mom's house not a word was said in the car. It still feels awkward.

Worst moment of the day, watching Simon standing in the driveway watching me drive off, it haunts me.

Good night.