Its No Party

I just don't get it sometimes.

You know those days where you feel a freight train is running over you and every time you try and stand up another coach hits you? Man o man i was low yesterday. Driving in a major thunderstorm and just feeling so down and sorry for myself that I needed a sympathetic voice and a friends ear.

But then fate dealt me a different blow, instead of a sympathetic ear and a gentle encouragement, I was taken by the collar and shaken, give a stern talking to and basically told to stop being ridiculous and pull myself together. I was instantly silence and a little shell shocked to say the least. Did it help?
Damn right it did, I had no answer for that! I was aware that it was not an easy path this divorce recovery and yet I seemed to have forgotten that I had been divorced for 14 months already. I had forgotten that I had a new home, I had my girls every alternate week and after a long struggle my house had been sold.

I had friends that cared and food at home.

Sometimes we need to be given a ragdoll shake, a little sympathy and another mini shake just to get the brain to arrange all our thoughts in perspectice again.

Did it make everything beautiful, did I have visions of vampires and werewolves giving each other manicures and facials, not quite. It just made me realise that depression is not a nice thing and it is part of the divorce process and perfectly normal. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It can be treated and managed and needs to be addressed, its not like a dog turd that will dry up and go away. Accept it, deal with it and learn to live with it, it is very possible.

So pucker up me beauties, there is still hope and where there is hope there is life.

Nite All

Coffee for One

Friday night, a series and making filter coffee for one.
Sad, well perhaps but simple and sweet as well.

I have almost been divorced for a year and Friday nights have taken on a completely different meaning, with my girls they are hugs and cuddles and warm moments that would melt a marshmellow man. Then there are the other ones where you are a little lonely, a tad sad with a hint of optimism.

I was told over a pork chop to lighten up my blog a little, so here goes; by the power not vested in me I now pronounce this blog light!

When I think of light I think of girls beer, thin sickly looking models and hospitals that are white and light! There is a sickly pale sadness about that pure white light, it reminds me of cancer and CAT scans and I don't want to go there.

I want to dance the night away, sit on a beach and hear the waves roll in, sit beside a fireplace in winter and drink hot chocolate on a winters night sitting under a blanket watching the moon.
I would prefer not to do this alone.

Coffee for one.

Lonely or peaceful. Sad or satisfied. Depressed or thoughtful.

Am I encouraged that I am not the only one in the world that feels this way or simply sad because I would not mind being with one of those people tonight. Perhaps just perhaps one day the will be 'Coffee for Two'

Good nite

Batchelors Saturday

It started with a great sleep in, then awoke and slept again. Then a mad rush to bath and get to the video shop to drop off the movies.
A call to Colin who sat with a Peroni in his hand and his bluetooth earpiece in his ear directing me to the bachelors.

This was the very first time I have been to a batchelors where I did not consume any alcohol, felt strange and went pretty well. Decent bunch of guys except for one freak, there's always one isn't there!

Girls had a blast watching dvd's and chilling but they seem to have a bit of cabin fever so will take them for a walk round the neighborhood.

Didn't end the day well and need a long session with C and M to get to sleep time.

Good night all and as C says, one day at a time Ted one day at a time.

09 June Wednesday

Happy Birthday M, hope you have an awesome groovy year ahead you deserve it!

Man o man am I tired of hitting low patches and scraping myself off the emotional floor and trying to make it to the end of a day. I saw Simon and she looked awesome and we chatted all the way back to Mom's home, mwah precious. So it ended on a high, now I am alone at the flat and doing da blog thang before I go soak my exhausted assets in a bath, why? Cos I'm worth it!

Didn't feel great today and and need to change my diet and start exercising SOON, I can feel the stresses of life are getting to me and I am exhausted and irritable and feeling sorry for myself, plus I think the excess caffeine is sprinting through my veins like a street dog after a bouncing sausage.

So plan of action is as follows;
1. Bath
2. Coffee (only kidding)
3. Read the newspaper
4. Speak to a friend
5. Message a friend
6. Exercise (SERIOUSLY only kidding)
7. Try to sleep

And so it came to be that Ted was weary and he sighed the sigh of a sigher sighing deeply and slowly and raised his eyes slowly agonizingly like a Celine Dion song and stretched out his hand and followed it to his pool of warm energy and into it he did sink and rested he did.

Happy thoughts!