Dear Dr Ted . . . .

Dear Dr Ted

For purposes of this correspondence please refer to me as Dwight. I am a 39 year old male, single and in need of urgent advice.

I have an incredible craving for a glass of white chilled Chardonnay. Am I gay?

Dwight

Dear Dwight,

I can only surmise that you have run out of beer, red wine, whisky, bourbon, tequila and and coffee.

Have you considered a trip to the local pub?

I am not in the habit of checking my emails for lavender scented wallpapers, but I have to ask, do you like long walks in fabric outlets?

I am unfortunately between relationships and as such can recommend such social organisations like Manchester United, The Sharks Rugby Union, Country Music and Australian Footie.

Good luck and cheers

Dr Ted