Valentines Day Tale

And so it came to be that Cupid once more forgot his Garmin at home. The little blighter must have been too busy watching Jerry Springer and ran out of time again.

I assumed that with it being a leap year, the ladies would have leapt at the opportunity to invite a gentleman to dinner, serenade him and if all the love gods were aligned with the latest toys from Apple, blessed him with a heavenly kiss. But alas, no such fortune befell me. My hope is that many of my friends, both of the male and female variety were commercially and romantically engaged.

The origin of Cupid is indeed an interesting one. He was the son of an archer and his mother was a fallen angel of the other side of the clouds. He was small for his age and kept his youthful looks with the aide of continual waxing of all unwanted body hair and bleached hair. Cupid did not partake of the botox chemical as his chubby little body and face repelled wrinkles as a garlic breathe repells unwanted relatives. He was a shiny, smooth little midget and his wings were marvel to science, how he managed to stay aloft has been attributed to one factor only, his love for baked beans and boiled eggs. This might explain the origin of the phrases "love is in the air" and "Cupids flaming arrows".

So in conclusion, a poem fresh from the cuff

There was a young lad from the city

Whose face was far from pretty

He met a shy lass

Of considerable mass

And they just broke bed number thirty

Happy Valentines Day one and all