Rock and Roll Parenting

Just under a hundred miles an hour on a potholed filled road with rock and roll blaring and singing at the top of my voice.

My head is clear and I had coffee with some beautiful amazing friends this weekend. This is the mood food that your soul requires, friends, hugs, laughter and a recharging of your positive mojo.

This overflowed into my joyful singing race to the border, I was Thelma and Louise served with a side order of Chuck Norris and just a pinch of Wolverine. Do I hear a hoohah? Lol

30 days till I see my girls again so time to buckle down and work. Eat the stew, admire the scenery and stay sane. It is Nicole's birthday next week and Simon's next month. I won't be there for either, its a choice my girls and I made together when I accepted this job. I know that by seeing them 3 days a month I am missing out on a large part of their life. If I had to philosophise it all I would be as miserable as a chubby boy who can't touch his toes. Instead I smile and when I don't I make contact with my support crew back home.

Parenting means making tough choices, we all do and we live by them.
Bravo to every parent out there, rock and roll parenting means doing your best and smiling when you feel like crying. I admire single parents and the tenacity and inner strength they show at all times. Yes we cry behind the scenes and lie awake worrying about making it to the end of the month, we struggle to give our kids the best and beg borrow and steal to see the look of absolute joy when they have it. We are survivors and silent worriers, but dedicated and hard working and often survive by accepting love and support from our friends.

Sometimes I have to push life to the limit, it is after all rock and roll to me.

Nite all

Cuddling Dilemna

I am asking for opinions here and in particular from my female friends.
My question is the following, "Is it possible to have a cuddle buddy"?

It is winter and it is a time for fireplaces, red wine, Nora Jones and cuddling and chatting, it is definitely not a time to be alone unless you have two or three good books. Maybe you are a Kindle person as such are electronically bound to some me time.


I am not.

I need people and in particular do not want to be alone at the moment, I don't see the problem with a cuddle buddy, but maybe I am being selfish.
Is cuddling too intimate?
Is it only possible to cuddle with a partner that you are in a relationship, sexual or not, with or is it possible to snuggle with a friend or even a stranger?

How would a woman feel threatened if asked by a male friend to cuddle?

I have noticed that people do not seem to hug as much as they did 10 years ago, are we now moving to a society where we have less contact with humans and prefer to deal and communicate electronically? Has Apple and Blackberry killed off popping in for coffee and a chat?

So in closing, will you cuddle with me?

Nite All

Dark Chocolate World

I love dark chocolate. Slightly bitter, strong as tequila and as black as a politicians heart.
It relaxes me and helps me contemplate life, love and my spiritual journey.

I have hit a low in two of them and the recurring mantra that rocks my brain and logic is "why".
To question is natural and to doubt human. I am no superhero powers despite being able to split an apple in two with one finger,  getting slapped for growling at beautiful women and surviving two very close shaves of the unspoken kind.

I am someone who tries to wake with a smile and keep it going for as long as possible. The whole rainbow and unicorns
Some days I succeed and then on other occasions a couple of days attack me at once and I fall quicker than Bafana Bafana head coach.

When I am in this self preservation mode I withdraw and watch the world pass by. Waving from the shadows is like smelling a rose in your sleep. It serves no purpose and brings no joy.
Friends do that. They entertain our misery and criticism and allow us to work through it. This is what a true friend is, someone who listens and is a shoulder to lean on and in some cases a warm cup of tea or a cold beer.

Now I need dark chocolate and a dark room.

Nite all.

MSG moments of the week?

Mad - I have the potential to get bitter about life and it angers me

Sad - I am single again

Glad - my Mom, my girls, my friends, my job, beer and red wine

Love Hurts

I wonder what caused women to begin the neverending and sometimes thankless task of pruning themselves and driving men crazy?

I mean manicures, pedicaures, botox and implants and make up that costs enough to feed a small town in outer Mongoli, and that excludes the fashion sense. Now now gentlemen, we are just as guilty and those that are not are more than likely in a long standing relationship or marriage and their partners have simply given up on them.

My journey into the Gentle Art of Beautification began when I first realised that there were creatures who lived amongst us that did not wrestle for an oblong leather ball and partake of such rituals as burping national anthems and lighting methane bursts. They were smaller, smelled different and hung around in gangs that either ignored or giggled at you. Thus began my first trip into my Dads wardrobe and I discovered the world of Old Spice and Blue Stratus, firmly believing that too much was better than too little, I could be smelled from a mile away.

My amazement was complete when I observed that not all the young ladies threw themselves at me and admired my aftershave ridden body, this I came to know as playing "Hard to Get".

But from humble beginnings I progressed to higher levels of pruning like a gaming junkie. Cut my toe nails and finger nails and didnt use them as toothpicks, had regular hair cuts and discovered shower gel.

Following my divorce, I had my first manicure and pedicure and enjoyed the relaxing pampering I received, lo and behold I found I was still straight and that these experiences had not turned me into a gay man instantly.

And then it started to get a little more intense. Nicole my daughter my 13 year old angel convinced me to shave my chest!!!!!! I did so without removing my nipples and for a week I was so itchy that I wanted to rip my shirt off and pound my naked chest like King Kong. That has now been forgotten and the hair returneth.

But was that enough?

No of course not.

I heard of the term "manscaping" where one basically trims the hair down under and provides a better, less primitive attraction for purposes of this blog. I decided to approach the area concerned with a beard trimmer and with the vigour of a puppy charging a porcupine.

I gasped, hesitated and at the first sight of blood dropped the Remington butchering device and crossed my legs. This action was supposed to remove the sudden stinging pain that came from cut treasures.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!

The bath that followed and the 2 days of anxious walking and carefull sitting was a rude reminder that some actions need to be left to professionals.
My now scarred and tender manscaped adventure has to end for now.

Nite All

Gypsy Anyone?

It is very easy to get caught up in the business of "Woe is me" and the world is out to get me, it is a scenariou of not being your fault or being within my ability to change it.
When I was down and hating the world, I battled to get out of bed, out of my flat and out to visit my friends. It was easier to hide away and wallow in the darkness of my soul and room.

There is certainly a time for this and it was a time to reflect, heal and re-assess what I expected and wanted from life. I also used this time to analise and disect family and friends in my mind and place them in the boxes I had created. I file with my mind and am thus able to open and explore when I wish and also bury and hide other chapters till I am strong enough to open them.

So what is the purpose of this blog?

I dont know yet, bear with me and I ramble on. Oh wow rambles, remember when we had Arts & Crafts Rambles, people dressed like hippies and use words like "organic" "cosmic" "earthy" "karma" and could all be used in a sentence to like totally numb my colon. I loved that environment, people worked with their hands and had a wandering community of friends, yes there were politics but how serious could it be with a cosmic organic karma and vegetarian crafter who made leather bags and shoes.

So you can either hide and drown in your life or else throw a little caution to the wind and maybe live a little. I am not saying sell everything and start knitting your own underwear while you hug strawberries and french beans. Maybe just re-evaluate where you are in your life, decide if it has been a worthy life and if you are ready for an adventure, start with a little one.

I left my room with the aid of some amazing friends and a Mom who spent ages on her knees praying for me. It has been fun, at times scary and with an amazing lady holding my hand, I am learning to love and be loved again.

Nite All

Sad Days

Why must I leave?

I am surrounded by love and yet I must walk away and leave it behind for a month.

I dont understand this.

I had given up on love and as such had placed all relationships on hold and guess what happened, yup a lady appeared like the lady from the lake. She appraised me, digested and analysed what she had read and sat before her and decided that they added up. I was unaware that I was being "interviewed" as most guys are. Gentleman, the slightest detail, the manner in which you speak, greet her, listen and even say goodbye is checked and ticked. With most guys, the woman simply has to show up and giggle and we are sold initially.

My girls are blossoming and growing up so quickly and independantly that I am seeing them in the independance and enjoying the personalities, thought processes and the manner in which they assess and judge people and situations.

Essentially they are grown-ups with a need for daddy to be around and be a bouncing board for questions when required.

I can accept that.

As for my Lisa, she makes me feel as if I can love again. I am afraid to believe it is all true because it is so real. A hug, a kiss, holding hands and sharing food, wine and thoughts together. I had accepted that this would never be again and that I was not worthy of love from another. Now that I am faced with it, I want to linger on it, savor it and somehow bottle it and take it back to Lesotho with me. It cannot be expressed in words, there are are too many senses involved.

Gabi is a 6 year old bundle of love that cuddles and giggles and has wormed her way into my heart. Bless you angel.

And yet I must leave and it hurts and tears at my emotions.

I shall return but my ladies await and I must go.

Miss you

Nite All