You have two options in life, do it or think about it and never do anything about it.
Doing it results in yourself being open to hurt, rejected or elation and adventure. So what will you do?
I tried to play by the recognised timelines and theology that time heals all pain and the best will be rejuvenated and possibly even superseded, I waited because initially I was incapable of giving and would have ventured into areas I had no concept of knowing how to deal with.
Let me explain.
When I first realised that I no longer loved my ex which was about a year after the divorce, I had two huge dilemmas to overcome. The first was that I had loved her for so long after the divorce and secondly whether I was ever able to love again. Love doesn't die overnight, it fades and slowly wilts like a flower deprived of water or a dead fish hidden under the couch of someone who did you wrong. When the realisation dawns that it is dead, you either live with the shrivelled memory or you replace it with a better memory, aalmost like brushing your teeth after eating a brussel sprout covered in chocolate.
It is hard to lose faith in something, be it God, life, love or happiness and resign yourself to accepting the alternative as your new standard. God never left me, He simply needed me to stop shouting long enough to get a word in and that whisper was enough. Life means getting up no matter how difficult and soul destroying the day ahead seems and somehow facing it despite the consequences.
Love, well the harsh reality is that it may take a lot of failed dates before you find someone who will accept you as you are, you might still be looking and even reach a stage where you say "Enough".
My plea is simply to keep looking and take that chance.
Why? Because a day of smiles and laughter is worth a month of pain.
Because sunlight after a week or month of rain brings smiles and happiness.
Because you deserve better, a new chance, hope and a reason to fall asleep with a smile on your face.
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