Dating after Divorce

Is there love after divorce?

The simple answer is yes.

There is however a but and this is where it gets a little complicated.

Love after divorce as I have found it has two levels, firstly if there are kids involved and secondly if the emotional issues of the first relationship have not been worked through.

When kids from a previous marriage are involved the your kids scenariou has serious issues concerning discipline, love, attention etc. To find an acceptable balance is about as easy as explaining why the stripper at the front door knows you on a first name basis.

I have 2 daughters, both teenagers and to attempt to introduce a third woman to the equation would be like juggling with porcupines. How would I  divide my time in a manner acceptable to all parties and still retain my already stretched limited sanity?

I still find myself watching my girls sleep and wondering what the future holds for them. Simon has a boyfriend, Nicole is battling with her own issues and is looking for Dad time and attention as well. She starts High School next year and I imagine her mind and body are changing as we speak.

So back to dating. How? When? Is it possible?

I don't know, I fear I might somehow be putting my girls before me and the thought of hurting them more than they have already been hurt is not negotiable. The look in their eyes when I had to tell them that Heather and I were getting divorced will haunt me forever. Their tears hurt me more than finding out about the reason for our divorce.

This doesnt answer my question, it does warn me of possible pitfalls and incidents that need to be taken into account.

As for finding ladies to go on dates with, anyone got a sexy single sister, someone interesting whose brain I can explore and laugh with and spoil with home cooked meals? Anyone?

The Good news?

Well, my girls have settled and we have an amazing open relationship.

I have incredible friends, a loving family and a body that comedians would kill for.

Nite All

Where is Love?

Why can't I find love on my doorstep?

I have been divorced for 13 months and yes I get lonely. I enjoy my quiet times and own company and when I have my girls it is hectic and exciting and fun. The week I don't have them is so very different, like goats milk and cream soda.
I feel a void where something is missing, I am not sure if it is a spiritual void or emotional emptiness. I know the healing process is a long one and the friends who have and are walking alongside me are amazing and supportive in so many aspects. Why does friendship and company seem to present itself to me over 1000km's away, why can't it be on my doorstep or at least in a closer proximity? Could the reason be that I am not ready now for this next phase in my life? I hope not.
I know I am not ready for marriage and that level of commitment, but friendship, companionship and even dating would add something that would somehow make me feel "wanted or needed".

I want to shout to the heavens and scream 'Why! What! Help me understand! Perhaps I am simply being selfish and need to process to take its course and at the same time I want to be more proactive. Instant society equals instant gratification. I feel like a whale trapped in a sardines body, I want to explode, be all I can be but am not ready for the emotional responsibility that comes with it. Spiderman was told the same and he still found himself in sticky situations. Batman found himself partying or fighting for his life with no rest between the extremes. And as for Harry Potter, well he kept going back to a school where people were trying to kill him, same as the mentally challenged cheerleader who goes into the haunted house because she heard a scream come from it.

Sometimes stupidity comes from it all and we need our friends to hug us, turn us around and lead us home.

Do I want love? Do I want a kiss that will rock my socks off? Do I want to wake up and see a beautiful face sleeping next to me? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Time will tell.
Nite all