So then there was cycling. Balancing your entire body weight on a piece of foam infused metal the size of a small rodent!
But it gets better. It is not motorised, good grief no! It is powered by you moving from side to side on a metal seat whilst pedalling until your lungs explode. After the first 10 minutes you have lost all feeling of where your body meets the bicycle. You would endure less pain if you were kicked repeatedly in the face for a day, plus you would still be able to walk afterwards NORMALLY!
Then why in the name of all that it pure, pain free and pretty would I put myself through this? Because a 12 year old angel used the magic phrase, 'Please Daddy'
On the positive side I didn't fall or swear at any old woman or dogs, I didn't spit straight ahead and forget that spit on a bicycle has a boomerang effect and I made Nicole very happy. Her pink bike is her pride and joy.
In my opinion, bicycles should have motors, bucket seats and a roof, oh hang on that's already been invented! Its called a motor car!
All in all it was a good weekend with my girls and now I have 3 days of work before I head to the Mother City to see what needs to be seen and hug those who need to be hugged. A good weekend for a birthday and a good place to spend it. I will shout at the mountain and wave my fist at the slow waiter and sip ale from the lips of a cold bottle and smile. I will ask irrelevant questions like 'Is this fish fresh' and 'if they called onion rings, does anyone answer them'? I will insist on french fries as chips have the sublime ability to cause mild to severe flatulence and to ask for my salad on the side, the other side. And that's just breakfast.
I am excited to see old friends again and laugh together. Memories are like a good red wine that tastes better as it ages and must be shared to be properly enjoyed.
Till next time
Good night.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Companionship
Why do we feel lonely?
What is it that makes us want to sink deeper and deeper in a black hole and slowing die a little more inside each day?
This disease known as depression is like cancer, it finds a place to plant a seed and then it spreads its evil web of dark misery. But it doesn't stop, it clouds our vision, it dampens our passions and slowly like a leech it sucks the very life out of us.
So, what is the answer?
Well being alone is a bad idea, get out into the light, get out and find a friend, someone to talk to, someone you trust. John Cougar wrote 'Everyone just needs a hand to hold onto'. It not about the sex or lusts, most times it simply to have someone to talk to, to be near when the monsters come out to play, when you feel like giving up and all seems lost.
Have you found that someone?
I have and yet I fear I am abusing the privilege and friendship. I have no physical contact and very little verbal, there have been occasions when the walls have got too close and an emergency calls were necessitated. Other times urgent advice was required. Otherwise its all about a wireless wonder.
I do so miss the conversation and availability of hugs on hand, but a new world awaits and I must sail through the mist to find what awaits me on the other side.
Good Night!
What is it that makes us want to sink deeper and deeper in a black hole and slowing die a little more inside each day?
This disease known as depression is like cancer, it finds a place to plant a seed and then it spreads its evil web of dark misery. But it doesn't stop, it clouds our vision, it dampens our passions and slowly like a leech it sucks the very life out of us.
So, what is the answer?
Well being alone is a bad idea, get out into the light, get out and find a friend, someone to talk to, someone you trust. John Cougar wrote 'Everyone just needs a hand to hold onto'. It not about the sex or lusts, most times it simply to have someone to talk to, to be near when the monsters come out to play, when you feel like giving up and all seems lost.
Have you found that someone?
I have and yet I fear I am abusing the privilege and friendship. I have no physical contact and very little verbal, there have been occasions when the walls have got too close and an emergency calls were necessitated. Other times urgent advice was required. Otherwise its all about a wireless wonder.
I do so miss the conversation and availability of hugs on hand, but a new world awaits and I must sail through the mist to find what awaits me on the other side.
Good Night!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Love?
So explain love to me again.
Explain the faith it takes to put your trust in someone so deeply that you not only give them your heart on a silver platter, you give them a carving knife as well. And then you walk away and trust they will do the right thing.
And what if they don't?
What if they get bored, what if they start seeing it simply as a chunk of meat? What if . . .
I don't know about love, I don't know what it will take for me to date let alone risk moving a relationship to another level. I don't know about staring into someone's eyes and smiling, holding hands as you sit together and desperately waiting for work to end that you can get to see them.
I want to believe,
I want to know that there is more than this.
Perhaps I am simply selfish and need to rather put my energy into my girls and leave love to sort itself out for better or worse. So selfish love seeker and dreamer or just a fool who needs to get on with life?
You tell me.
Good night
Explain the faith it takes to put your trust in someone so deeply that you not only give them your heart on a silver platter, you give them a carving knife as well. And then you walk away and trust they will do the right thing.
And what if they don't?
What if they get bored, what if they start seeing it simply as a chunk of meat? What if . . .
I don't know about love, I don't know what it will take for me to date let alone risk moving a relationship to another level. I don't know about staring into someone's eyes and smiling, holding hands as you sit together and desperately waiting for work to end that you can get to see them.
I want to believe,
I want to know that there is more than this.
Perhaps I am simply selfish and need to rather put my energy into my girls and leave love to sort itself out for better or worse. So selfish love seeker and dreamer or just a fool who needs to get on with life?
You tell me.
Good night
Waves
I am amazed at the adventure we refer to as life and the manner it to seek out the weak from the strong.
I see it as being on the beach and playing in the waves, very seldom do we do it alone and hardly ever do we see all the potential dangers.
Humour me a bit here, imagine you are a child of say eight, playing in the waves. There is no greater feeling of pure raw fun, salty water in your eyes, the sun hot and the water cool and refreshing. Then out of nowhere you are distracted and a wave knocks you over, because you weren't watching your back it got you. Down you go and the wave roughs you up a little, maybe you swallow a little water. You struggle to your feet and a little confused and shocked you try and collect yourself, but before you can a slightly larger wave knocks you and this time holds you down a little longer. You emerge gasping for air and coughing, maybe a little disorientated and most of your confidence dissipated, vision blurry and fear and the first signs of panic have set in. You might even be on the verge of crying at this point.
As the next wave attacks and bullies you raw panic and fear set in and now you're in serious trouble! But here is the really cool part, as the wave hits, you feel strong arms lift you, cradle you to a warm chest and lift you out of the water. A soothing voice, strong and comforting says your name and tells you it is all ok and not to worry, you are safe now. You bury your head in the chest and sob with relief. The voice continues to comfort and soon you are on the beach, a towel wrapped around you, he is stroking your hair and kissing your forehead and you feel safe.
Those waves have a way of beating you and throwing you about, they pull you under, scare and confuse you and will ultimately kill you. But you are not alone in all of this, you do not have to face it all one on one.
We have the choice and in my case, swimming alone is no longer an option I choose. I am tired of fighting the ocean, it just wears you down, tires you and then it is too late.
Good night
I see it as being on the beach and playing in the waves, very seldom do we do it alone and hardly ever do we see all the potential dangers.
Humour me a bit here, imagine you are a child of say eight, playing in the waves. There is no greater feeling of pure raw fun, salty water in your eyes, the sun hot and the water cool and refreshing. Then out of nowhere you are distracted and a wave knocks you over, because you weren't watching your back it got you. Down you go and the wave roughs you up a little, maybe you swallow a little water. You struggle to your feet and a little confused and shocked you try and collect yourself, but before you can a slightly larger wave knocks you and this time holds you down a little longer. You emerge gasping for air and coughing, maybe a little disorientated and most of your confidence dissipated, vision blurry and fear and the first signs of panic have set in. You might even be on the verge of crying at this point.
As the next wave attacks and bullies you raw panic and fear set in and now you're in serious trouble! But here is the really cool part, as the wave hits, you feel strong arms lift you, cradle you to a warm chest and lift you out of the water. A soothing voice, strong and comforting says your name and tells you it is all ok and not to worry, you are safe now. You bury your head in the chest and sob with relief. The voice continues to comfort and soon you are on the beach, a towel wrapped around you, he is stroking your hair and kissing your forehead and you feel safe.
Those waves have a way of beating you and throwing you about, they pull you under, scare and confuse you and will ultimately kill you. But you are not alone in all of this, you do not have to face it all one on one.
We have the choice and in my case, swimming alone is no longer an option I choose. I am tired of fighting the ocean, it just wears you down, tires you and then it is too late.
Good night
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Date Night
There is something magical about your first date night with a beautiful young lady, add that she is your 14 year old daughter and you are on your way to a truly magnificent memory.
I collected a smiling chatty Simon from her Mom's home and she was waiting in the yard for me as I arrived, she wore shinny black jeans, red pumps and a red Hemisphere hoodie with a smile that would melt a rattlesnakes heart.
We chatted and laughed and finally decided on a restaurant after a detour for 2 magazines and a stroll through CNA, a Greek Restaurant as she had never eaten in one before. I ordered the Kleftika and Simon ordered her first ever fillet with side orders of steamed vegetables and roast potatoes. It was awesome, awesome like finding you had just inherited a pub on the beach in Jamaica. The meat melted, the veges were crisp and the potatoes slightly sweet.
Simon had an A4 handwritten list of conversational items, as she said 'I always think afterwards arghhh I should have told Dad that'. It was so sweet and so typical of her. After supper we set off for the search for the perfect setting for dessert and wandered into Mantovanis, stared transfixed at the cake display and headed upstairs to their lounge. We were the only ones there and Simon ordered chocolate brownies and icecream and a chocolate smoothie, a real death by chocolate challenge. I settled for a cuppachino and tiramiso. Stunning.
Then more chatter and time to drop my darling back at her Mom's house, we listened to grunge rock with growling and I kept a tentative eye on my heat gauge in the car as it was overheating rather badly.
I received a spine cracking hug from her, a huge smile and a kiss and as she walked down the driveway, I could not help smiling despite the fact that I was divorced.
I mean if this divorce means that I forge this sort of bond and relationship with my girls, then I am willing to remain single and bear the sad silent moments on my own.
What was the highlight of the evening for me? Must have been the smile I kept getting as her eyes sparkled and her words kept pouring out.
Thank you my Simon Pie.
Good night
I collected a smiling chatty Simon from her Mom's home and she was waiting in the yard for me as I arrived, she wore shinny black jeans, red pumps and a red Hemisphere hoodie with a smile that would melt a rattlesnakes heart.
We chatted and laughed and finally decided on a restaurant after a detour for 2 magazines and a stroll through CNA, a Greek Restaurant as she had never eaten in one before. I ordered the Kleftika and Simon ordered her first ever fillet with side orders of steamed vegetables and roast potatoes. It was awesome, awesome like finding you had just inherited a pub on the beach in Jamaica. The meat melted, the veges were crisp and the potatoes slightly sweet.
Simon had an A4 handwritten list of conversational items, as she said 'I always think afterwards arghhh I should have told Dad that'. It was so sweet and so typical of her. After supper we set off for the search for the perfect setting for dessert and wandered into Mantovanis, stared transfixed at the cake display and headed upstairs to their lounge. We were the only ones there and Simon ordered chocolate brownies and icecream and a chocolate smoothie, a real death by chocolate challenge. I settled for a cuppachino and tiramiso. Stunning.
Then more chatter and time to drop my darling back at her Mom's house, we listened to grunge rock with growling and I kept a tentative eye on my heat gauge in the car as it was overheating rather badly.
I received a spine cracking hug from her, a huge smile and a kiss and as she walked down the driveway, I could not help smiling despite the fact that I was divorced.
I mean if this divorce means that I forge this sort of bond and relationship with my girls, then I am willing to remain single and bear the sad silent moments on my own.
What was the highlight of the evening for me? Must have been the smile I kept getting as her eyes sparkled and her words kept pouring out.
Thank you my Simon Pie.
Good night
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Wall
There is a place inside of us that we protect, some call it our soul, others our core, our most secret place that very few of us dare to share with anyone. Sometimes we never share it with anyone, it remains so sacred to us that we may live in fear of it ever being revealed.
It is what gives us our ability to make decisions, weigh up consequences and ultimately decide whether our choice is morally and ethically correct. We can justify any decision and argue that it is as it needs to be, yet in this place, here we know the true answer. We cannot deceive ourselves.
When we decide to have children and introduce them into a world where we are essentially regarded as a sensual creature who is entitled to the commercial toys that are dangled in front of us like a puddle lures a 10 year old en route to school in his brand new school shoes, so we are drawn in. We convince one another that we are entitled to it and almost cannot stop ourselves licking our lips as we acquire it, feel it, own it or more accurately let it own us.
We seek inner peace, contentment and somehow we are almost just trying to forgive ourselves for our own transgression against no one but ourselves. Meditation enables us to somehow slow it all down. Let the chaos and panic somehow slow down that we can address certain issues and perhaps understand and put some it in perspective. Peace is the answer, the route to it is entirely your decision, not your partners, not your friends, not your parents and not your priest or spiritual teacher. Ultimately they will all impart knowledge and advice, but the decision is your alone and as such so are the consequences of your decision.
Good night
It is what gives us our ability to make decisions, weigh up consequences and ultimately decide whether our choice is morally and ethically correct. We can justify any decision and argue that it is as it needs to be, yet in this place, here we know the true answer. We cannot deceive ourselves.
When we decide to have children and introduce them into a world where we are essentially regarded as a sensual creature who is entitled to the commercial toys that are dangled in front of us like a puddle lures a 10 year old en route to school in his brand new school shoes, so we are drawn in. We convince one another that we are entitled to it and almost cannot stop ourselves licking our lips as we acquire it, feel it, own it or more accurately let it own us.
We seek inner peace, contentment and somehow we are almost just trying to forgive ourselves for our own transgression against no one but ourselves. Meditation enables us to somehow slow it all down. Let the chaos and panic somehow slow down that we can address certain issues and perhaps understand and put some it in perspective. Peace is the answer, the route to it is entirely your decision, not your partners, not your friends, not your parents and not your priest or spiritual teacher. Ultimately they will all impart knowledge and advice, but the decision is your alone and as such so are the consequences of your decision.
Good night
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