Alone is Ok!

Candy told me that there would be a point where I would no longer dread the loneliness and accept being alone as a time where I could relax. She also told me that this would become a time I would treasure and even look forward to.

As it is in most cases with her, she was correct. But let's go back a step or two.

I have always been someone who has been surrounded by people, a family of 6 growing up, team sports, the army, my own family unit of 4. I have never been alone and as such when my marriage ended I was not only devastated, I was also completely alone for the first time in my life. It scared me to the point where I was even unable to sleep without a light on.

The silence haunted me and made me panic with what if scenarios and eventually drove me to the point of madness. But that is the past.

Two very important truths were pointed out to me, one was that I would be able to be alone and not be lonely and two, that I had to learn to love myself again. This is not the sort of Johnny Bravo "Hey pretty Mama wanna come up to my room and see my pretty muscles" love. It is an acceptance of who I am, an ability to love the man in the mirror warts and all. It is the ability to see the wrinkles and accept them as life lines or laugh lines, a change of perspective and willingness to forgive myself and then in time others. I must be able to love the man in the mirror before I can truly love another.

What we project is also what we attract, project anger and inveribly it will come to meet you, live and love life and you will attract people to you because they want to share in your joy. By accepting who you are and striving to be a better person for unselfish reasons, you will attract love and warmth.

So tonight, remember that "Alone is ok".