The Curry Bites Back

I stopped en route home at a curry place at Edenglen near Woolworths and bought a vegetarian bean and potato curry, because I wasn't going to cook and hadn't eaten today besides my cereal. I decided to take my meds and vitamin B and have the curry. The first 4 mouthfulls were stunning but the 5th tasted funny and too herby for me so I took it out of my mouth and it was a dead bug twice the size of an adults thumb nail.

It was obviously no longer a vegetarian meal and the additional protein with legs or tentacles left a somewhat bitter, acidy taste in my mouth. Had I perhaps consumed one of the owners pets or were they a delicacy flown in from a broom cupboard and casually ignored as they fell asleep in my curry.

I am saddened my meal had transformed itself to a National Geographic Special without my written consent and as such I am forced to pay them a visit tomorrow to discuss this menial legality.

Good Nite Friends

I Hate

Things I hate, I wish I could be more level headed about this, but here goes.

I don't mind being a single 45 year old male trying to reconstruct his life from the bottom up, I don't mind that I no longer have my big house, large garden and my beautiful faithful dog Lucy waiting for me when I get home. I can get over having the most amazing neighbours and having a few beers at the wall and the meals together. I can even get over the fact that not everything was 100% in my marriage.

But what I hate is divorce and the destruction, pain, chaos and continued cancer it leaves in its wake. It has the same effect as performing brain surgery with a chainsaw. It rips and tears and all who are close are splattered with the consequences and share in the shambles.

I hate that it affects my girls, my reason for existence and my pride and joy. It has caused me much sorrow and constant questioning and patience from friends as I attempt somehow to understand and unravel this mess.

I hate that my one daughter has decided not to spend Christmas day with me. I accept that it is a testing of wills and the circumstances need not be disclosed, but it breaks a 12 year tradition and leaves an empty seat in me..

I hate that there is a very good chance that this will affect my girls relationships with men in the future.
I pray that somehow they will look at the chaos and make sense of it all and be able to avoid the errors and confusion they have watched unfold before them.

Now I am weary, Nite all.

Monday 31 May

Sometimes I feel like God is walking around with a huge stick hitting me on the head, why? Well my head has been sore for a while.

I know this isn't the way I am supposed to see it, but it was a long day that started well and deteriorated faster than a cannon ball down a mine shaft. To make a seemingly long tale of woe a short description of "Woe is me and I am feeling sorry for myself", 2 fellows who have mothers but are not aware of who their natural fathers are took it upon themselves to force themselves into my old home and destroy the front door and damage 2 security gates. Add to that an unnecessary abusive phone call, an emotional melt down in my old family home and a metal object (unwelcome and intrusive) in the front wheel of my car and I was willing to give up on Monday and retire home.

Isn't it interesting that we can so be affected by others actions and yet we often pretend that they have no impact on our lives?

Good news for today, well my angel sent me the most gorgeous photo of herself in her newly made FIFA World Cup hat, it made me laugh and miss her at the same time. My other informed me that she had a "kik bum weekend" which implies she had a lot of fun and that too warms the heart on a Jburg winters night.

This journey has eaten into my soul and made me question so much about life, God, joy, love and friendship and i feel as if I am only ankle deep in the pool of emotional and spiritual discovery. Where to next? I am not sure. I have to trust and somehow pray and make the effort to awaken each day, bounce or drag myself out of bed and face the curve balls life has been throwing at me.

Well my friend my bed calls and I am unable to ignore it's plea's any longer.

Good Night