It Approaches

It's a wonderful time of the year, well almost. School kids are already finished with school and the first "I am sooo bored" has already made its appearance. For parents, most of us are counting the days down until we are on holiday.

I have enjoyed Lesotho immensely and yet I welcome a break from it now, I need a shower everyday, I need water that I can drink and a break from fried mess hall food. Oh and the flies, the African Budgie, a beast so lazy and disgusting it pales in comparison to computer generated exes. They seem to send in wave upon wave of flying raisins and rest on all that is sacred and edible, definitely more irritating than a 2 year old throwing a tantrum in a shopping centre whilst Mommy dearest tries to reason with it. I use the term "it" because if it was any other species, the mother would do the honorable deed and eat the little beast in full public view of any other potential brats.

A month away from my girls is never easy and when I am weakened by a stomach bug, it makes the whole process a little harder. My body aches more than a 55 year old mans whose 29 year old girlfriend has lured him to yoga lesson because it will help him to reach that spiritual place when they are making love. I cant wait to hit the road with my girls, road-trip  music, adventure and visiting family, this memory creator will be documented by way of blogs and photos, blank spaces filled in by fresh fruit, ice-cream and beer and as many hugs as a man could bear.
It will also be a time for me to spend with my Mom and discuss the way ahead for my Dad, a conversation I don't relish but one that must be dealt with.

It is also a time of the year where Simon, Nicole and I have been on the receiving end of friends kindness and I am indeed overwhelmed that this generosity has been bestowed upon us, I find it difficult to respond except say thank you.

This to me is the true spirit of these approaching holidays, sharing and laughing with loved ones. It is a time for friends and family to reflect on the past year and forget about the hard-times and just revel in that moment of happiness.

Nite All

Homemade Lemonade

R6.00 for 2 lemons.

Has the world gone mad. When married I had 2 lemon trees and a lime tree in my back yard and I could never find people to take them because there were so many. According to the cost and the other ingredients required, I have decided to calculate the cost of your average glass of homemade lemonade if Sipho and Kobus were operating their BEE eLemonade Crush Stand.

The standard ratio to a simple lemonade recipe is once of water, lemon juice and sugar per serving, dissolve the sugar in some water heated on the stove and once dissolved add the balance of the ingredients and simmer.
Let it cool overnight and add fresh mint if required and serve over crushed ice.

This basic recipe is foolproof, the result is awesome and the addition of your own alcoholic derivative priceless.

The cost per glass of lemonade purchased from Sipho and Kobus will be in the region R20 per glass (just under $3). for them to make R100 each a day profit they would have to sell in the region of 40 units.
If I had to explain this to my daughters they would look me squarely in the eye and ask if I was ok. Did I really expect them to sit on a sidewalk/pavement and risk getting mugged or worse sunburnt and what would happen if their BlackBerry batteries died? Times have changed and simple is not what it used to be.

PS. I think I may make some lemonade for old times sake.


Nite All

A New Beginning

A remark made by a very good friend (One that I had a massive crush on in High School hehe) and confirmed by others for a while made me realise that a new hat had to be worn by me.
It can become "comfortable" to live glancing over ones shoulder expecting the demons and ghosts of Memories Past to pop up and attempt to dominate and affect your future.

An example would be Christmas. Christmas to me became a tradition of family and friends, a large home-cooked meal and laughter followed by a doze (also known as a meditative relapse) on a couch and then a cleaning up operation of note. It was a time where no cost was spared and credit cards, cash and accounts were pillaged and plundered the way a puppy would devour your favourite slipper. There were traditions that included the erection of the tree, dusty boxes weighing more than Aunt Eva's bottom brought  down and unveiled. Not Aunt Eva's bottom but the boxes Mark.
Lights, millions of wooden characters and scratching my dogs head as she watched all of this with the excitement of observing a snail waiting for its Garmin to acquire satellites.
It was a lovely Hallmark moment and I loved it.

This will be my third Christmas since the divorce and my girls and I are still attempting to find our groove, there is no tree, there is no dog and Aunt Eva and her bottom and bosom are long forgotten. I am peace with the new Ted and we are getting along pretty damn well when he isnt trying to go cold turkey and bulldoze his way through time and space.

So it is with a smile that salute and thank Dr Ted's Divorce Adventure and welcome Dr Ted's Life Adventure.

Lights, camera, action and please no white speedos, after all parental guidance is advised for sensitive stomachs.

Bless you all for your comments, thoughts and encouragement. All are appreciated and accepted with an open mind.

Nite All

Journey Back in Time

The Journey to the coast and back begins with my arrival at OR Thambo International Airport. I am packed, my luggage feels heavy, laden with 15 novels for my Mom, a leatherman, cable ties, chewing gum and a torch. I am the Indiana Jones of our era, Dr Ted vs the Open Road.

I have packed a selection of music ranging from Nirvana, Sasha's Dance hits to Sherryl Crow. My underwear is sorted into casual and socialising  and then driving. Have keep it all in place when you driving!

Arrived at the airport, checked in and helped an African Mama load her luggage onto the conveyor, she had one bag just for her hats and it weighed a ton!!!!!

As I entered the mens room, a gentleman smiled at me and said "Welcome to my Office". I smiled and wondered if I was meant to shake his hand? He was the cleaner who had promoted himself to MD of his department, his attitude reminded me of how far we had come as a young Democracy.

Met my cousin, took possession of the Citi Golf and after a brief stop to get some perfume for my Mom, I headed off to JBay.

Upon arrival, I walked into my parents house and met my Dad, who wasn't quite sure who I was.
He looked good, a little confused but fortunately not scared of me.
He didn't really talk to me but kept a wary eye on me. My Mom arrived and gave a kiss and Dad immediately got up and came and gave her a kiss too.

By the next morning, he walked up next to me, whacked me on the shoulder and stood next to me. It was a special moment.
The next morning he was in bed and I went in to greet him and he said "hello Ted" and gave me a kiss. That moments recognition seemed to pass quickly but was so precious.
His Parkinsons should have taken his life many years ago but his incredible stamina and my Moms personal care and love have kept him going.
Today he walked up to me and asked me who I am, I told him I was his son, his baby. He replied that I was a bloody big baby and walked away.

There have been times when I thought I caught a glimpse of who he used to be, I cannot praise my Mom for caring for him 24/7 and refusing to give up. What a woman, what a privelage to call her my Mom and nothing I could ever do could make up for what she has done for Dad.

Nite all

The Road Ahead

How do I set myself free from my past, how do I move on and turn my back on the facts and memories that have made me who I am today. If they shaped me and have created the person I am, is that enough or does life have more to offer.

The truth is that I need to move past the divorce and the affair and somehow allow the changes to take place that will allow me to be the person I am meant to be. Better, healthier, more balanced, healed with a more balanced appreciation of who I am meant to be.

If we stop living and refuse to grow, we begin to die. There is no limbo state.
If you exercise you become fit, if you don't your muscles begin to disintegrate. So the question is simply, do I want to hang to the past or accept that a new reality with opportunities await me?
Will I be hurt? Yes
Will I be happy? Sometimes
Will I love again? Maybe

It is not whether I will have it all or live a life deprived of certain aspects, it is that I need myself to be allowed to be changed by the experiences and let my mistakes make me realise I have to change. I cannot enter a new relationship with all this baggage, it is not fair on the other person. I am a new person in the making, I need companionship though I long for intimacy.

What I seek now I cannot have for I am not able to deal with it.

So the journey continues.

Nite all

Christmas in Cuba

I want to go to Cuba.
Not the new Americanised Cuba of old, but the one Hemingway fell in love with.

Stunning colours and old American cars, small dark bars that smell of rich Cuban tobacco. Friendly faces and the sounds of children playing in the streets.

Beautiful tanned ladies with swinging hips and smiling eyes whose voices mesmerize you and take you far away. Makes you forget about your worries for a while and life seems nice.

So we have Cuban cigars, rum, beautiful people, music that moves you and food man oh man food cooked by a large hairy woman who grunts and mumbles to herself but cooks like an angel.

Sounds like a damn fine Christmas if you ask me, but something is missing, the one vital ingredient.

Family.

Family includes special friends.
If you have no-one to share it all with you may as well not celebrate it at all. Life is about sharing, be it love, sorrow, pain or joy.

Add all of the above together and you have memories. That's the best gift anyone could wish for this Christmas.

Good nite

29 June Tuesday

A night of not sleeping and not the best way to start the day.
Work was ok except for a small incident that was blown out of proportion but the less said the better about that.

Had a good chat to C, thanks it was good, nice to have and thoroughly enjoyed.

I think my girls are really battling with my ex-wifes boyfriends 3 kids in their space for such a long period. However I need to remember that this is a situation they need to resolve as I have no control over it.

In my opinion it was not fair to leave Simon responsible for 4 kids, that is the sort of thing another couple used to do and then it was unacceptable, strange how the goalposts move.

I must sleep, my meds are kicking in.

Adious
Back to my flat tomorrow!

1 June Tuesday

Tomorrow my baby turns 12, wow what a lovely journey we have had together.

She has been a blessing and has had such a fighting spirit since she was born and analysed many months later with the hole in her heart, she never stopped smiling and fighting even when all the odds were stacked against her. I love you my precious Nicole.
You wear your emotions on your sleeve and continue to challenge boundaries and rules and are not afraid to ask why and will not settle for answers that do not make sense. Sometimes you even question logic and defiantly refuse to accept the norms that society insists on. Good for you.

I saw a quote today from a FB status of a friend that said, "Dream as if you have forever. But live as if you only have today" by James Dean.

Wow, what a quote and what a attitude to have. After the heartache of walking through my old home where so many years were spent as a family unit, so many memories, so many laughs joy and tears, I realised that this was all gone and though I mourn it and have to deal with the tragedy of divorce I am in a better place spiritually now than I have ever been.

Even though I mourn the loss of a 22 year relationship and daily contact with my girls, I am seeing the positive side to this madness we call divorce. My times with my girls are so eventful and fun that we spend more time laughing and experiencing life and less involved in the pettiness that causes only frustration and negative emotions. It is better to be alone than to be with one who loves another.

To W & C for an awesome meal where the girls could not stop asking for thirds and fourths and a lovely bottle of red as we discussed family and frustrations and trampoline assembly, these are the moments that make memories. Never turn down the opportunity to have a glass of red wine with friends, it reassures the soul and makes us realise that it is not all about us.

And today my Italian sedan returned from the workshop after 8 or 9 weeks with working brakes and a friendly hum in the engine, it felt so good to accelerate and smile and stop when intended, brakes are not a luxury but a necessity it seems.

So all in all a good day and a deep bath ended another Tuesday and moved me towards tomorrow, who knows what you have hidden lurking ready to surprise me.

Goodnight