How do I set myself free from my past, how do I move on and turn my back on the facts and memories that have made me who I am today. If they shaped me and have created the person I am, is that enough or does life have more to offer.
The truth is that I need to move past the divorce and the affair and somehow allow the changes to take place that will allow me to be the person I am meant to be. Better, healthier, more balanced, healed with a more balanced appreciation of who I am meant to be.
If we stop living and refuse to grow, we begin to die. There is no limbo state.
If you exercise you become fit, if you don't your muscles begin to disintegrate. So the question is simply, do I want to hang to the past or accept that a new reality with opportunities await me?
Will I be hurt? Yes
Will I be happy? Sometimes
Will I love again? Maybe
It is not whether I will have it all or live a life deprived of certain aspects, it is that I need myself to be allowed to be changed by the experiences and let my mistakes make me realise I have to change. I cannot enter a new relationship with all this baggage, it is not fair on the other person. I am a new person in the making, I need companionship though I long for intimacy.
What I seek now I cannot have for I am not able to deal with it.
So the journey continues.
Nite all
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