Demon Days

It happens, life is a menagerie of intertwined emotions and circumstances that invade your secure world like patrol of stubborn ants.

The days that smell like coffee shop filled with pastries are as adorable as a first kiss, sweet, exciting and leave you breathless and smiling shyly.
The days that resemble eating corn flakes out of the gutter are as charming as realising you do not have enough cash for petrol and buying milk for your daughters.

I am on a hill, this year has a solid grip on me and is weighing me down and sucking life out of me faster than a teenager texting their friends. The new year beckons, but its challenges are daunting enough without the added burden of last year on my back.

Add to this a life and health decision that requires no beer, exercise and a reduction in coffee and it is a bitter pill to swallow.
My chemical requirements have not lessened, I feel that if they ever reacted with the invisible radiation from my phone, I would become my own "glow in the dark" theme park.

My situation is not unique, a single middle aged parent trying to survive and provide as best he can for his teenage kids in a world running on speed and adrenaline. I am unable to maintain this pace.
So as I face these demons and feel them attempt to suck the life essence from me, I have 2 choices. One, succumb and slowly die a little more each day or two, survive on day at a time and smile between the attacks.


I feel like a wrestler who has been in the game 5 years too long and can't afford to retire.

Phrases like "hang in there" and "you can do this" with the added "many have endured and overcome" do not help me now.
A wise women once said, "you have survived worse and flippen hell Ted don't quit now". Quitting would be easy and I have never taken the easy route in my life so why start now.

The face in the mirror is weary and the eyes a little hollow and the shoulders a little drooped with battle fatigue.  Surrender is not not option but battle weariness has worn my armour a little thin.

This will be last post for 2011, so until next year many blessings and love.

Nite Nite

A Plea

Dear friends,

I am in need of assistance and I am not used to asking for it.

My situation is as follows, I am in desperate need of a computer, my Apple laptop is about 7 years old and is dying rapidly. I spent 45 minutes to get one web page to open. I am not able to edit my photographs and am just a little frustrated. I have a keyboard, monitor and mouse if that helps.

I was somehow hoping that I could survive till June and hopefully by putting a little aside each month I could afford one. Truth is that I still have a third of this years school fees to pay for my girls and the new year begins in 4 days time.

A single divorced Dad with 2 teenage daughters, I am not able to plug all the holes and am humbled to write this message.

So folks, any ideas, assistance or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Nite nite.

Note: This blog took over an hour and a half to post, a little frustration was expressed

Santa's Special Delivery

So I had a dream, I was showering in a mysterious house I didn't know and there was a party downstairs.
Now I can imagine your first thought might be, 'Why are the heck are you showering if there's a party downstairs'? Well that part of the dream eludes me!
I can imagine I was somehow not in a state suitable for mingling. Perhaps I had been refereeing a mud wresting contest OR cooking and preparing grilled king prawns OR assisting in the delicate task of coating chocolate bunnies for Hugh Heffners Christmas Bash!

So I was showering and stepped out to dry myself when horror upon horror, I heard the ever nearing steps of stilettos approaching the bathroom. I did what any man in my position would do, I wrapped a towel around my head and closed my eyes. (in hindsight I should perhaps have covered my body as well)

So I was hiding with my back to the door when I heard it open.
Note to Self! When hiding in plain sight for all to see, hiding your head in a towel does not make you invisible!!!!

The door opened, I waited for the scream, but instead I heard the door close and those high heels approach me. I tensed and felt arms gently draw me near and the most beautiful husky voice whisper in my ear, "Look what Santa delivered for me"

Merry Christmas to each of you
For reading my tales the whole year through
Happy or sad or a little off key
They tell the adventures of little old me
May your day be filled with Christmas Cheer
I will toast you all with an ice cold beer

Nite all

My Teenage Treasures

I have 2 teenage daughters that are the reason I breathe, they are the smile on my face and the bounce in my belly when I dance.

When I look back on the past 2 and a half years of my life and the trauma and adjustments that were made and endured, I am amazed how "normal" they are.
Both have battled initially at school but did well at the end of this year, both have had and do have relationships and I have only threatened to kill one individual of the male species.
Both initially shared a bedroom with me and then a tiny bachelors flat and never complained.
They accepted the fact that they was no money and when I was unable to be a Dad, they cared for me.

The result of this experience is that I have 2 fighters who although polite and well mannered, speak their minds and are blossoming into amazing woman.

We have created our own new rituals and routines and now operate as a unite of 3. This includes sharing one bathroom and I have done a combination of a raindance, exotic tapdancing and howling and begging when their 10 minute bath somehow exceeds 30 minutes.

I praise God that I am where I am and upon reflection I have no idea how I survived on a single salary. My budget doesn't allow for fruit and bran but somehow accommodates chocolate cereal, beer and cheese.

So as this year draws to an end for Simon, Nicole and I, we would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas filled with love, laughter and lunacy. May your hearts with love and your homes blessed with visitors.

To my amazing family (especially my Mom) and fantastic friends, an Oprah sized extravaganza of a hug to you.

Nite all

Pictures courtesy of iCandyphotography

Dr Ted's Life Adventure: Christmas for Singles

Dr Ted's Life Adventure: Christmas for Singles: Does it seem that the Christmas period is one of the more difficult times when you are single? By single I mean divorced, widowed or withou...

Christmas for Singles

Does it seem that the Christmas period is one of the more difficult times when you are single?
By single I mean divorced, widowed or without a partner.

It is definitely a time for couples and family and somehow the singles get left aside.

I don't think it gets done on purpose, it just seems easier to entertain couples and not have lose ends hanging about. I battle to impose myself on friends and seem to withdraw even more in the safety of my cocoon of safety. It is also a time for family and if you are not able to be close to family, I fully understand what you are experiencing. So automatically I dread this time of year and find myself tensing even as I write about it.


I am tired of watching Series and have seen all the latest rentable movies, Facebook does not intrigue me and words like bored seem to appear.

I apologise for not being funny or uptempo, I shall leave you be. Perhaps tomorrow I will embrace all and do my impression of the Riverdance down the corridor.

Nite all

Vegans Loss

Think of your favourite piece of steak, taken from the wrapping and placed on a preparation board. Gently coat with extra virgin olive oil,  ground black pepper and course salt. Rub in some freshly crushed garlic and then place overnight in the fridge.

Remove from the fridge in the morning and at lunchtime heat up the cast iron griddle.
Once it is searing place your steak on it and as it hisses and sneers at you know that your journey into gastronomical heaven has commenced. After 3 minutes turn and the serve the boiled baby potatoes smothered in butter and salt along with the steamed green beans onto a plate. Remove your chunk of seared meat, place it on the plate, grab a bottle of red wine, a glass and head for the dining room table.

As you cut a piece and place it in your mouth, you will know what it means to be satisfied, in love and almost touching heaven.

Nite All

Decaf Dreams

I am a slow learner not because of rumours of being dropped on my head as a child or car accidents in my slightly misspent youth, but rather because of a stubbornness that allows me to act like a twenty year old and expect my body to perform as such.

I had a delightful evening of sushi with a new friend and we decided to conclude the evening with a "coffee" and rest in heavy leather chairs. She ordered a decaf latte and ordered a cuppachino. No you heard correctly, I didn't fail to mention decaffinated, I ordered the twenty year old version.
And thus it came to pass that sleep settled accross the land, but not in the House of Lodewijks, where a forty six year old male  trapped in the mindset of a twenty year old tossed and turned and grumbled in his bed.
 There would be no dreams tonight and the hours dragged by slower than a school awards ceremony.


Coffee has an exotic allure that raises images of beans being hand picked in wild far off lands by young scantily clad maidens and the sweet scent of their bodies intermingling with the flavour of the beans. Roasted and distributed to all corners of the earth for us to enjoy the musky warmth and seduction that is known simply as coffee.
It is the "clever juice" of our generation and the coffee shops lure us in with promise of guaranteed satisfaction and friendship. It has been mixed with vanilla ice cream, with steamed frothy o so damn sexy milk and even incense.

Where we associate tea with the English and their wet miserable weather and snobbish tones, coffee is the drink that removes all hints of snobbery and is available and enjoyed by prostitutes and priests, round people and stick people, bikini clad models and lovers of little squeaky shivering dogs. It is friendly, it embraces life and kisses you as it touches your lips.

So tonight, make yourself a mug of coffee and reminisce life and contemplate who you will share your next  mug with.

Nite All

And to Claire, thank you for a wonderful evening.

Beer & Books

I have just finished a novel, my first in almost 3 years.

It told the tale of brave men and women, love lost and new love discovered, mad religious tyrants and sewer filled streets. Sound familiar?

It seems not much has changed in the last couple of hundred years.
But wait, this tale of treachery, tyrants and tarts lacks an important ingredient!


Beer!

It is the glue that binds friends together, the soothing agent that allows a man to view his wife in a trance like glimmering halo. It has magical powers and can turn a mans sixpack into a barrel, it can turn flatulence into a team sport and can make the most punctual man imagine that time has stood still.

The combination of books and beer led to one of the most important discoveries of our generation. You see, it was the difficulty of focussing on little words that forced the introduction of the periodical, a thin larger book adorned with pictures, short tales and scantily clad ladies selling everything from cars to fridges. Now I have checked many a fridge in stores and not once has a marvellous maiden stepped out. I have however bumped into portly balding sweating men who wish me to purchase female free fridges.

So I salute books and beer and the joy and comfort they have brought me over the years.

Nite all.

A New Beginning

A remark made by a very good friend (One that I had a massive crush on in High School hehe) and confirmed by others for a while made me realise that a new hat had to be worn by me.
It can become "comfortable" to live glancing over ones shoulder expecting the demons and ghosts of Memories Past to pop up and attempt to dominate and affect your future.

An example would be Christmas. Christmas to me became a tradition of family and friends, a large home-cooked meal and laughter followed by a doze (also known as a meditative relapse) on a couch and then a cleaning up operation of note. It was a time where no cost was spared and credit cards, cash and accounts were pillaged and plundered the way a puppy would devour your favourite slipper. There were traditions that included the erection of the tree, dusty boxes weighing more than Aunt Eva's bottom brought  down and unveiled. Not Aunt Eva's bottom but the boxes Mark.
Lights, millions of wooden characters and scratching my dogs head as she watched all of this with the excitement of observing a snail waiting for its Garmin to acquire satellites.
It was a lovely Hallmark moment and I loved it.

This will be my third Christmas since the divorce and my girls and I are still attempting to find our groove, there is no tree, there is no dog and Aunt Eva and her bottom and bosom are long forgotten. I am peace with the new Ted and we are getting along pretty damn well when he isnt trying to go cold turkey and bulldoze his way through time and space.

So it is with a smile that salute and thank Dr Ted's Divorce Adventure and welcome Dr Ted's Life Adventure.

Lights, camera, action and please no white speedos, after all parental guidance is advised for sensitive stomachs.

Bless you all for your comments, thoughts and encouragement. All are appreciated and accepted with an open mind.

Nite All

Dating vs Photography

It is a well known documented fact that not everyone is normal. No, some of us are just a little on the warped side and as such do not fit the mold required by civilised society.

There is no simple way to say this, dating and relationships are complicated and confusing. You call too much, you don't text enough, you aren't serious enough or you don't talk enough. Its like peeing into the wind, you just aren't going to come out of the situation unscathed.

It is not a jungle out there, it is a zoo and the animals are free to roam and has anyone seen the zookeeper?




I am seriously considering the possibility that alone I shall be, friends yes, acquaintances definitely and as for the rest, well I shall have a queen sized bed for myself. I shall indulge myself in my new found hobby of photography and speak more freely with my hands. Pixels, jpeg and acupuncture (or is it aperture) shall be my guru. I shall follow my lens and point it where it is not rude and snap and smile to my hearts content.


Monopod, camera bag and a little lens shall be on my bbm to Santa and he shall not received the antidote to the poison in his cookies lest I receive one of the above. If he dies, he dies.

So adieu to strange relationships and hello to wierd and wonderful friendships.

Nite all