It is very seldom that I begin writing a blog without having some sort of idea of where I am heading and what it is going to be about. So basically I am asking you to follow or join me as we just touch on 'things' and see where we end up.
I spent the whole of Saturday in bed after having early coffee with a dear friend and my girls, they chatted and laughed and I spent most of my time watching Simonne and Nicole. I seem to doing a lot more of that lately. They are no longer my little girls, they have become little ladies with opinions, real emotions and direction. They have recovered from the initial shock of divorce and have found their feet and accepted what i still battle to comprehend. They have moved on.
They speak of boys, hobbies, plans, future and possible subject choices and career choices. I cannot give them all they want materially and emotionally, I love them so deeply and have a bond I hope will remain forever, but they need female input. its not that they don't get that from their Mom, she loves them dearly. What I am trying to say is that they need role models, they need listeners that aren't necessarily their parents to chat, dream, laugh and vent at. I remember as a kid wanting to be taken seriously and even if I could not get my way, at least just to be heard. We shout them down, laugh at them and sometimes use the phrase that we swore we would never use as parents, 'Not now honey I'm a little busy'.
The world has gone mad, Liverpool are mid table, vampires are the good guys, the Queen is getting Facebook and Justin Bieber is considered sexy. The pace we live at and the pressure place on the youth today at school and by their piers (I almost typed "pears", can you imagine a really aggressive intimidating pear) is ridiculous. When are they supposed to kids? They have Facebook, Mxit, Gmail, chatrooms and texting and access to the whole world slime and grime included. They can Google pedophiles and porn, they can get it all on their cellphones and we seem to have very little we can do to protect them.
This is not a blog that is slating technology, I love technology and accept the good with the evil, I just don't want my girls to be exposed to all of the nasty stuff yet. What is a Dad to do?
The parenting side is basically done, they are 12 and 14 and all the groundwork is complete. All I can add are the odd bits here and there and provide emotional support as they stumble from the nest and face the world head on. I have to let them fall, but can assist in getting them back on their feet and then have to stand back as they venture forth again.
Parenting is as easy as convincing a 2 year old that chocolate and spinach are both good for you. It is an exact science that has basic outlines and lots of grey areas, like George Bush winning the Nobel Peace Award.
So our stroll went somewhere. My head hurts for the fourth day in a row and I must leave you.
Good Nite
you and your girls are going to be just fine. hand them over to God, hand your role as "dad" over to Him (i'm sure you already have, but i've found that if i don't do it daily, those are the days i suck as a mom :( ). you're doing a great job. they don't ask that you be perfect; just that you love them and have a good relationship with them.
ReplyDeletejulian of norwich said, "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well." it's true. you all shall be well.
i prayed for you yesterday (probably around 7pm your time). i'll keep praying for you as you go through this hard time. you'll get through it. you will. it will be ok. and your girls will be ok, too. because it sounds like you've laid some pretty solid groundwork with them, so just keep building on that.
and i'll finish by passing on what a friend of mine always says to me:
you are Loved.