Life a certain way of hurting you, letting you get back on your feet and then crushing you. When your chest tightens, you have a lump in your throat and the tears are waiting in the corner of your eyes. I don't want this but it is not about me, its about two dear friends one has been told she has terminal cancer and not long to live and the other is her husband. My dear dear friends, I am so sad and have no idea what to do, I would like to run away and just pretend I didn't hear it. I would easily take the cowards choice.
Tomorrow I have to go see him and hopefully her too and somehow try and keep it all together or not. I am crying as I write this and I know he is hurting so badly. How must she feel to know it is almost done?
I imagine he has shrunk under the strain and I want to hug him and hold him as he cries. Or is it that I want him to hold me as I cry.
Love is so special and can give so much, but when it takes it rips and tears and leaves holes where it used to be. Love is an angry woman committing a crime of passion, nothing is spared as she strikes at all in her proximity.
There is no dignity in pain, in sorrow, in illness. It is real and raw and ruthless.
I cannot continue tonight, I must see my friends and touch them and somehow offer to share this burden.
Nite
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