A Senseless Flirt with Reality

I asked a "slightly" stout middle aged Scottish gentleman who I work with if he had any advice for the dry skin on my legs, no this is not a normal request and yes he did ridicule me and shake his head.
He did however answer that if I added Tea Tree Oil to my bath water I would see a difference.
So I did. I added and bathed and lo and behold after 2 weeks my legs were . . . WORSE.

So Plan 2. I asked Dee who is not Scottish, a man or plump and is a trained beautician and her answer was as follows; Tea Tree Oil would make your dry skin worse, it did, so far so good and she proceeded to give me a small sample of cream which I applied.

OH MY COMPOUND NOUN!

So smooth! So silky! So incredibly (yet masculine) soft. My shorts slide over them with such ease it is as if gravity is inviting them to my toes quicker.

Motto of this tale, a grumpy Scotsman should not be mistaken for a beautician!

Tonight is Boys Book Club and I am so ready for it, I read the instructions on opening my Lindt Blueberry Chocolate in great detail last night and am ready to engage Stephen and Marcellus in a meaningful, yet intellectual guide to Safe Chocolate eating habits.

Safe sex, safe driving and now to our vegan tree hugging chanting and Enya loving audience, Safety by Chocolate.

And thus with smooth legs and all my limbs intact due to following the correct procedure in Lindt exposure I am almost ready to leave you.

One thought for the road,

If you ever find yourself seated naked on a hotel bed in a room reserved to Johnny Depp, it may well be that you have picked up your wife's bucket list instead of yours.

Nite all