Hello world I am back, not a whoop but the grimace of a smile.
Days are hard at the moment but life goes on. Saw Nicole's teacher and had a good chat to her and her counsellor as well, will chat to her the weekend and see how it all plays itself out.
Had supper with steamageflyer and it was fun and good and reassuring, seems that time spent with friends is so important when we appear to have the world on our shoulders. Sometimes we just need a a smile and a sympathetic ear or the voice of reason with a "Flippen Hell Ted" and backup advice that I am unable to argue against. You guys rock.
So I have a dream, a dream to travel 5000km on a Vespa throughout Southern Africa with no set agenda and no pressure of time weighing me down. The ability to stop and smell the daisies, the time to chat to a child next a road, have a cold beer with a local and really just contemplate what is this all about and where am I going. I want to be the person that cares, unfortunately I am in no position to be that man till I can deal with my inner demons, face myself and trust that this bigger than me and something I cannot resolve and face on my own. But at last a dream for the future, this is the first time the future has featured for a long time.
ML resolved a case that has been dragging on for many years and even though it was not what he hoped for, I believe it will help him to finally put this behind him and move on, well done dude really chuffed for you.
I wonder often why my life has taken this route and what I could have done to avoid it or alter it, and then I am reminded by friends that it is not about the past, true I cannot alter it and if I am able to learn from it, it will do me good in my future and that is where the healing lies. It is a daily get me up and moving scenario and some days I have to crawl to the end of the day.
Spoke to my sister M tonight and it was good to hear her voice, S is going to Turkey for a couple of days so I will be spending some time with her, will be fun.
Now my bed calls and I must be a gentleman and heed the call, goodnight till tomorrow.
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