Pain never really seems to go away, it just seems to hide and then re-emerges when you least expect it or when you are not ready to deal with it
Sometimes I wish I was more like a machine that a human, then I can just remove things that don't work, just switch off certain components and plod on
Even though I have a beautiful flat, have a large pot of soup simmering on the stove and friends who do care, I am really lonely again today. It is almost as if my joy has been drained from me and left this empty shell behind that is hollow, cold and empty.
As time sails on be it in times of sunshine or storms of the harshest darkest kind, we find that old love that is no more tends to fade and slowly die. I have 2 choices, the first is to fight it and hang onto it with every ounce of my being or alternatively realise it is over and let is pass away. It doesn't make the pain any easier, however it does enable us to find closure and move ahead.
Was Nicole's School Sports day and she was waiting at the school gate for me and gave me a big hug, strolled around with her and her 2 friends and saw friends and puppies and dogs and lots of hockey, soccer and netball. There is definitely reassuring about a school sports day, it has a lovely feeling about it and lots of laughing and smiling people. Was glad Deon did not make it, would have a little awkward.
SA vs Wales Rugby Union today so all in all ale will flow ,and joy will accepted and shared by all concerned!
Just made a toasted cheese in the frying pan with extra butter, strong cheddar cheese and white bread, fried till crisp on both sides, yup a bit of heaven mmmmmmm. Was so hot it burnt my tongue while I was eating but man o man was that good or what!
Got invited to Sarah's 7th birthday party, soccer theme and it was awesome and the snacks were AMAZING! Had a homemade Apple pie with almonds on top with cream and it was better than kissing a mermaid!
Home Bed and await the arrival of a new day.
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